I’m a fast learner, which is good because I’m also impatient. Add to all of this that I tend to be a ruminator (not a ruminant, I do not chew my own cud or have multiple stomachs) who thinks and thinks and thinks and then BAM! does (much to the consternation of many people in my life, my super babe of a wife included) and perhaps my most recent barrage of anxiety ridden assumptions doesn’t seem so rash, although it is, at any rate, misguided. Basically this is what I’m trying to say: Once I decide I want to know something, I go out and learn it and, often, I can then apply it pretty readily to my life. The place where this otherwise awesome system goes awry is when, as with bodies, no amount of book learning will get you the results that careful observation over time will.
So, following my mini freak out about ovulation, I quit taking the evening primrose oil supplement, replaced it with some deep breaths, and tried to remind myself that we are not even trying to conceive yet. On a whim, I decided to take an ovulation prediction test and got a very clear positive.
How’s about that as a reward for positive behavior?
Or, you know, that whole mind body link; or, the EPO. Whatever. I’m choosing to believe the universe saw me calm down and said, “yeah, Andie, that’s how ya do it. Good job!”
For the good of the gaywo TTC community who may or may not be reading this blog and who may or may not have the same “OMG why are OPKs so hard to read!” feelings that I have, I’m sharing my exciting + and one of my more confusing -. May the pee stick odds be ever in our favor.
La is neither as invested in research as I am, nor as fascinated by the less than polite bodily functions that come along with all this mess. She has outright told me that when its her turn, I will have to coax her along – I plan to draw the line at dipping the OPKs in her pee, although I will happily check her cervical fluids. <oh my!> BUT . . .she has consented to let me show her my OPKs and ask for perspective.
Last night when I showed her this, she got excited and said “Is this when we would call BFF?!” I started getting into some complicated explanation that went something like “well yes although i would like to understand my cycle well enough to actually call him before the positive . . .” but stopped when I realized that La was thinking that if we just had a damned needleless syringe she would be on the horn with BFF that very second.
It was a flash of OMFGthisistotallygonnaberealsosoon and it was RAD.
Finally . . .we are having issues getting AwkMD to sign the paperwork saying she is supervising the procedure. It may be time to call in the friend of my also gay-and-pegnant co-worker who signed their contract. Sketchy? Sure. But when the law says you can’t just get free sperm from your BFF without getting all entangled in the law, I say fuck it we are doing the best we can.