It’s a good week here at the Gayby Project.

On Wednesday, La and I went to our first couples counseling appointment in preparation for making, birthing and raising a child together. The counselor is fabulous – just enough woo woo but not over the top – and it affirmed for me that La and I have a lot of really good tools and strategies for handling things when they are shitty. I knew this, but having professional confirmation is always nice. We both have a lot of feelings and thoughts about so much – from La’s experience of, essentially, being a non-party to the legal contract between BFF and I relating to sperm donation, to my fear that I might be infertile, to our experiences with how people react when we tell them we are going to try and conceive. I’m very glad we are taking the time and spending the money to really parse things out before there is a wailing infant and lack of sleep making things that much more challenging.

Today, we had an appointment with the OB-GYN for a pre-conception visit. I’m also really glad we spent the money for this, even though I felt kinda silly about it. I talk a lot about my unsubstantiated fear of being infertile, so it really helped to have a doctor tell me that she didn’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant quickly and easily. We also asked questions about our plan with timing (she recommended every other day, instead of every day like we’d planned), the process after getting a positive home test, and about how to get involved with the Midwifery Center at the University (we see a faculty practice out of the University of Colorado)

She also got me a pertussis vaccine, since I didn’t have one and you need it prior to or during pregnancy, and drew some blood to check my thyroid (its always been slightly underactive, but managed with medication. She said my TSH was a bit higher than ideal at last check, so she wanted to review it again – but that would just mean upping my levothyroxine slightly – and a higher TSH could account for my lengthier cycles) She said I’m ovulating, my labs and other numbers look good, and that she thought we shouldn’t have issues.

The OB-GYN was such an awesome place to be – I genuinely enjoyed my time there, which is not something I often say about medical practices. I’m sure it has something to do with pregnant people waddling around and an overall feeling that there is more expectant joy than impending disaster than most other places, but I LOVED the Doc we saw, and we chatted with lots of the ladies in line for the lab, and everyone was chatty and happy and nice. I felt a little bit like a fraud, waiting in line with the pregnant bellies – a few of them asked when I was due and I had to blush and say, we’re not -yet. But, I’m hoping that a couple of months from now, we might be back and have an answer to that question.

Hung out with BFF last night. He is very excited, has been wearing boxers regularly for two months now, and said his last steam room visit will be next week. OMG, love that man. I really can’t tell you how lucky I feel to have a guy who is involved, excited, and willing to do stuff like not have sex for days or change the type of underwear he wears and he ALSO doesn’t want to parent. Its totally the best possible situation.

I’m on CD26, 8 DPO, with either 4 or 6 more days to go before I menstruate. I’m hoping that I might have a 14 day luteal phase this time, but am also expecting it to be closer to 12. In any case, I should be bleeding by next week, which will mean the start of our (actual, for sure) first cycle of trying to conceive. As disappointed as I was to miss January, I have to say I am actually so relieved it worked out the way it did.

So . . .here we go. I think I am just ready enough.


2 thoughts on “

  1. Woohoo! This is all so exciting to read and I’m really happy for you all to be finally officially starting this journey. I think it is awesome that you are seeing a couple’s counselor and that it will help you process all of the crazy stuff that goes along with this. I have a friend who went to the midwifery group at U of CO and she had only awesome things to say about it. I saw one doctor there for something else and really liked the set up of the clinic. And the ultrasound tech I had to check out my ovaries was so cool! Is your BFF taking men’s daily vitamins? In my research a couple years ago, I read that folic acid is just as crucial for him and his swimmers as it is for you and your eggs. I’ll be rooting for you guys!!!

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