So close, so far away

Day 12. Negative OPKs (all three of ’em! I’m working on that major in peestickology!) but growing gradually darker. Got a blob of eggwhite fluid on Sunday night and again yesterday, although its otherwise been the less exciting ‘creamy’ type. Things are a’brewin’ but I’m not sure when the storm will be here. Yes, I fully intend to mix metaphors all over the place today.

I have been ovulating on day 18 or so, but I think it may be coming a bit earlier this time, thanks in part to getting my thyroid in check. I got a little freaked out when I got the egg white fluid and made La call BFF and see if he could come over tonight for our first insemination, but when the OPKs at 8am and 1pm were both negative, I called it off. Its hard to feel like people are re-arranging their lives based on what color my pee stick turns, you know? I don’t want to apologize all over the place but I also feel like an asshole when I can’t give a more specific window for La and BFF.

I’m super glad I didn’t get an LH surge today, though. This is one of the crazier weeks at work I’ve had for a while – I’m conducting a day long training on Thursday for the biggest school district in the state, and the future of my project is resting on the success of this training and the other pieces of the teacher preparation I’ve developed. So, you know, no big deal. The grant application that is due on Friday is just icing on the cake. I just finished the work I needed to get done and I can’t imagine it being a restful, relaxing or anything but anxious evening if I had to squeeze the first insemination in tonight too. Plus, we have to make sure the first time includes the ritual and laughing and awkwardness! You need TIME for these things.

And, with all of the crazy going on, I’m pleasantly distracted and merrily wandering along with my pee sticks in hand. I’m excited, but I have other things to think about as well – and that is an excellent space to be in. May the next few weeks continue apace.

So, still waiting . . .waiting for the waiting.

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