8DPO. Going on my 5th day of pretty consistent nausea. Added to this (or perhaps just adding nuance): Food aversions/cravings/something. I say it this way because more than craving anything or being particularly averse to anything, its just a struggle to find anything that sounds *good* or even something that won’t make me vomit.
On Friday night, the only thing I could stand to think of eating was, essentially, ramen noodles. We don’t eat ramen in our house because La had a horrific accident in college and got 3rd degree burns down her legs from spilling hot ramen – and she has the scars to prove it. So, suffice to say, I did not get ramen. We did find the next best thing at Tokyo Joe’s – a noodley soup that was mostly non-offensive, although the hard boiled eggs inside of it were hard to handle. Yesterday at lunch with my mom, I saw a picture of a turkey sandwich and almost lost it right at the table. In general, I’m staying in the most neutral zone possible. Mostly I am grateful that my long term standby, oatmeal, continues to be as satisfying as anything.
Another addition is a heightened sense of smell. I don’t tend to be very aware of smells. La has a super sniffer all of the time. Usually, I can be somewhat blissfully aware of, for example, the bulldogs stinky booty issues, while La is gagging in the corner. The last few days have been a little different. On friday driving home there was an awful sweet-chemical smell outside the car and when I remarked on it, La looked at me and said “You should NOT have been able to smell that!” Other things that usually don’t bug me have been overwhelming, too – the air freshener in my mom’s car, the smell of ketchup, a cigarette lit outside the car at the intersection 100 feet away? You guys, I just quit smoking two years ago and really, if I could keep smoking and NOT kill myself/the baby I want to bear, I would totally still smoke. While the smell has gotten increasingly yucky to me since I quit, I have never had a reaction like that to a cigarette that was located so far away.
So, you know, I’m really trying to stay neutral and not read too much into anything. But the nausea is OOC! (that’s out of control, FYI) I otherwise don’t feel sick. I know anxiety can make the belly feel funny and while I’m excited and hopeful and a little nervous I don’t feel anxious to the extent of making myself sick for days on end. But, time alone will tell (and, I guess, depending on the outcome and how long this nausea sticks around, a trip to the doctor!) I sure hope this isn’t all in my head.
Both La and my mom are convinced I am pregnant, which is not making things any easier. They tend to deal with these types of situations differently than I do – I prefer not to hope too much in order to avoid disappointment. They embrace the hope and the potential disappointment. Its good to have balance, but nervewracking still.
OK! Final update!! Last week, La and I were looking at pictures of fetuses (?) in utero and the earliest sonogram picture we saw and something that looked quite a lot like a little dinosaur. So, La has started referring to the maybe-bundle-of-cells in my uterus as the dinosaur. Just moments ago, she sent me a picture of a tiny dinosaur toy that had been left? put? on top of a door – out of primary sight – in the coffee shop where she’s working. And yes I totally believe in that kind of woo-woo stuff.
Thanks for bearing with me . . .assuming anyone actually made it to the end of this post!