The things that are keeping me hopeful right now:

  • A  totally unremarkable perfectly uneventful cycle last month. Downside of uneventful= not pregnant; upside of uneventful = a 32 day cycle, ovulation clearly happening on day 17, a 14 day luteal phase. In short, typical and healthy and not at all confounding.
  • Bleeding again, because it means the waiting to wait has started and who doesn’t feel hopeful at the beginning?
  • BFF will have insurance through his employer beginning on May 15, which should be right about the time we find out if try #4 worked. If it doesn’t, we will be able to get the swim team tested for speed and agility without paying out the crapper for it.
  • I started knitting a blanket for my nephew-to-be. I haven’t knitted anything for over a year but decided this is definitely a good reason to start again. I got some nice babysoft yarn and a pattern that is complex enough to keep me engaged but within my skill set enough to be able to interact while knitting. I forget how medicinal knitting can be for my anxiety.

BFF took La and I out for dinner on Monday, and it was exactly what I needed. That dude is so good at cheering me up. Its also comforting to know that it bums him out too, that he is invested in and cares about the outcome and its impact on us. I drank a big glass of a much fancier than usual (for me) wine and tried to put my bad attitude behind me.

Although we all understand that tries 1-3 could have been ‘unsuccessful’ for about a million reasons that are out of our control, we have decided to switch a few things up this time. Namely, we are going to do inseminations in the morning and evening, although we still need to figure out timing so we don’t over tax the team. I’m also upping my OPK game (which is substantial already):I stopped in walmart yesterday (not a place I’m accustomed to shopping but as they are the *only* pharmacy in the area that carries the specific kind of insulin we have to give our dog, I do have to stop by a few times a year to get his prescription) to pick up insulin and syringes for Ed and took a spin around the pharmacy. I actually was considering looking for one of the First Response fertility kits (which I have mixed feelings about, but thought might be interesting anyway) and ended up finding these CBE “advanced” ovulation kits, which supposedly identify 4 days of fertility – 2 high and 2 peak. Because of my inherent distrust of anything I don’t know, I will plan to continue testing with my usual wondfos as well, but I feel like I owe these a shot, and since they are so new that there aren’t any reviews yet, I feel like I’m doing my part for the great TTC experiment. You can never pee on too many sticks, right? right.


3 thoughts on “Lemonade

  1. Glad to hear you’re finding some things to be optimistic about. It certainly can’t hurt to mix things up a bit. And yay for knitting! My partner has gotten really into knitting lately and found it really helpful for anxiety (and getting through horrendous meetings!)

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