Blogging for LGBT Families: Always Enough

This morning, I read a lot of these “Blogging for LGBT Families” Posts and thought about whether I qualified or not. I know maybe that’s silly, but its true. “Family” often implicitly means “children” in our culture, and so its hard to feel like you count when you are sans babies, you know?

But then I started to think about how much family we have already. Like a lot of queers, our friendships have filled a space that family does for a lot of other people. Even when your family of origin is pretty cool with the gay stuff (mine is) you can feel not quite a part, just this side of fitting in.

Then I thought about last night. How La and I attended a wedding for a couple we don’t know well, but already feel super connected to. About how, after that, we sat with BFF on the couch and created the most absurd list of baby names ever and laughed and laughed. I thought about how the three of us ARE a family and we are making our family bigger and that a lot of people won’t understand the nuances and complexities of that.

I thought about picking the Bug and the Bee up from daycare, how the teachers asked if we were their Aunties and I didn’t hesitate to say “yes” because we ARE their aunties.

I thought about all the beautiful people with whom we have forged a family. This isn’t sentimental, its real. This is not “love ya like a sis” or “brother from another mother” passe hallmark shit, you know? Its serious business, making a family out of the pieces and parts that you are handed. Its a skill a lot of people don’t have, because they have never needed it. Its a skill people reject because they think its second best.

One of the best things about being queer is the creativity you are forced to embrace. I have long held that – regardless of whether this is a choice or not (a debate I won’t have now) – I WOULD choose this. I would choose it because it has offered me remarkable opportunities to think about gender and culture and society. I would choose it because it has afforded me the chance to make my family and re-think what that means.

So, today I am blogging for and about my family:

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This babe that I married, who is my very favorite.

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This man (and his badass partner) who are helping us fill in the biological cracks.

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This bestie, who is full of kindness and tender hearted beauty.

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This group of incredible people who care for me, call me out on my bullshit, make me laugh at myself, make me see myself, and see me.

 

This ex-girlfriend who  spends so much time making the world a better place while simultaneously having the clearest grip on reality of anyone I know.

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These furry buddies, who make my heart sing.

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These babies, and their mom and dad, who show up in incredible ways.

And more. There are more. Today, my tribute is to the knot of roots that connects us, to the families that protect one another when nothing else can, to the bonds we built without legal representation because sometimes the state can’t give us what we need. Today my tribute is to Queer Families built from heart love blood sweat tears and fists raised high in the air.

 

 

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Blogging for LGBT Families: Always Enough

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  1. love this post! I totally agree with you about the perks of queerness. Reading your words also makes me grateful for my blogging family. We may never meet in person but I feel so connected to your joys and struggles on your journey to expand your family.

  2. Holy crap this is going to make me cry because IT IS SO TRUE. Like you, I’m lucky enough to have family who are totally cool with the queer thing, but many people in my life (including my husband) are not. And so we knit together, and we make this beautiful fabulous thing that is so much greater than the sum of its parts.

  3. OMG. I was just going through this exact thought yesterday in regards to the “LGBT family equals kids” thought. But it doesn’t.

    I might go ahead and write something now. I am an LGBT child after all.

  4. Aye, aye! The varying use of the word ‘family’ across our culture is definitely an interesting one. Coming from two big-ish and completely supportive families, my partner and I don’t feel like we have much ‘family’ to build (except that little bit we’re trying to make from scratch in my uterus!). I think of it more as ‘tribe’ or ‘community’, but yes the love and support we choose to surround ourselves with is such a beautiful thing.

    Good Luck on this journey, and thanks for following our little blog!

    – Doc (or ‘M’, as I am referred to on the blog)

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lesbian, parenting, ttc, lgbt, baby

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the snearses

some vegetables, some cats

The MD & Me

~ my not so glamorous but oh so blessed life ~

Star In Her Eye

raising a rare girl

Mama et Maman

A blog about two moms trying to conceive

Becoming Mommy and Mama

Two ladies on a baby adventure

YoungIVFerChantelle

My journey to get my Miracle.

single ma in siberia

a single Australian queer's TTC quest/ parenthood journey

babamimi

"Your family needs a reality TV show"

Our Egg, Her Nest?

My journey to Motherhood through gestational surrogacy

Raising Race Conscious Children

a resource for talking about race with young children

Three Hearts Beating

Two lesbian mamas make some queer spawn...

Papa Bear

how two boys made a baby

midwestmammas

lesbian, parenting, ttc, lgbt, baby

and baby makes 3

two moms and a new baby

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