This morning, La and I woke up at 5:30am to get down to the doc by 7:30 for our follicle ultrasound. You should know, if you don’t already, that we are not a family of early risers, and we both work jobs that allow us to enjoy our natural proclivities to some extent. La teaches her first class at 9 or 10, and my office has a flexible-so-long-as-you-get-your-work-done policy, so I usually roll in around 9:30 or 10 as well (I also stay late, just so you don’t think I’m cheating the system.) Suffice to say, 5:30 is like another planet for us. But, 7:30am appointments are the only way we can get the biznass done and have La get to campus in time to teach. So, 7:30am it is.
We saw *another* doctor (this one also young, pretty and well-dressed, though not nearly so tall) who I will call Angel Cakes, because she was just so gosh darn sweet. Angel Cakes put the dildo-cam in, looked around and said “Nuthin’ on the right.” then maneuvered around and said, “Ok, here we go.” The bigger follicle from Thursday was now at “20 by 18” (I’m assuming mm.) Should be anytime now, she reported. She also said that they would like to see a better response than this with clomid, so if we don’t get pregnant this go, she would recommend 100mg of clomid for the next round.
I asked if we should schedule the IUI and she said to wait for a positive on the OPK. “You haven’t gotten one yet, right?” Nope, I reported. No OPK. Some good quality cervical fluid, but no OPK. “I bet you get one today – have you taken one today yet?” Nope, I told her. Not yet.
So, off we went. I waited a few hours and did my ritual pee stick at 11am. Goose egg, y’all. Nuthin’.
I am doing my best to remain rational, reminding myself that I have no reason to believe that I won’t get a positive sometime in the next day or so. But that is easier said than done. Knowing, as I do, that 20mm is ideal/mature, I am now harboring a fear that I won’t GET a positive, and we will miss ovulation. Google, of course, has affirmed this by way of message boards, where a number of women report not getting positive OPKs with clomid, especially PCOS ladies.
So, I sent an e-mail asking about this and if getting a trigger was still an option. Probably, by the time I hear back, I will have either gotten the positive or missed the whole thing and it will be moot anyway. But it made me feel better to send it. And by better I mean slightly more managed in terms of anxiety.
Really, I should suspend my doom for AT LEAST another 48 hours. But that would mean just waiting, and damn it if I am not so sick of that.
Still . . .assuming the worst doesn’t happen (not my best asset, but I’m trying!) we will have an IUI sometime this week – Wednesday, maybe? That would make sense, as its the most scheduled of all my days. . .
Thanks y’all for the continued love and support. I wish you all much less complicated cycles than this!