Beginning again.

I started my period yesterday, after two days of awful looming cramps. It was a relief, in some twisted way, that it came when it should have (14 days after I ovulated, 15 days after my IUI), since it meant both not having to wait around for the next *thing* but also because my last ‘period’ was a prometrium withdrawl and wasn’t at all what a period should be. There is always something comforting in the norm.

And the disappointment, while still present, has faded enough that I can make off handed bitter comments about it instead of dissolving into tears. This has made a very, very long week a little easier to deal with. My organization put on our huge annual conference the past few days, and that plus the event on Tuesday have meant 14-15 hour work days for the last week. I am too exhausted to cry, except when I am too exhausted to do anything BUT cry. So far, my timing as worked out pretty well.

My e-mail to Dr. G was finally returned late yesterday with a non-message from his medical assistant telling me to schedule an appointment. This is likely only because I also left a message asking for a response to the e-mail. Unfortunately, when I called to schedule an appointment, his only openings were next Friday during a block of interviews I am conducting, or Nov. 13th (which would be something like cycle day 22, which ain’t gonna help much) So then I tried the Cover Girl – nothing till Nov. 7th. Going down the list I was finally able to get an appointment next week with Angel Cakes, which is not ideal but whatever. I also sent another e-mail asking the Cover Girl if we could do a phone consult or something similar to answer my questions. 

Really, I am primarily interested in getting the SA done so we can have a conversation with our other potential donors and get them on board before I ovulate again, if need be.  I’d also like to start the metformin as soon as possible to get whatever kind of positive impact I can from it. And, I’m trying to get pregnant so I am just generally f*cking impatient. In moments like this, I long for the factory floor efficiency that I hear comes at an RE’s office. But for now, that’s just not the path we are on, and usually I am grateful for that.

But cycle #9 is here. In three more tries it will have been a year of attempts. When I pulled a tarot card asking about how long this might take two months ago, it said 4 months or less. I’m putting my trust in the cards. Mostly because I can’t get an appointment with my doctor.

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3 thoughts on “Beginning again.

  1. So long! You seem to be coping with all this admirably- well done you. My hopes are with you. If I see that stork I’ll tell him it’s about time it was your turn

  2. Punky and I are sending you love and support! Its just so frustrating to read your posts because I know how much you want this and I am so sad for you that it hasn’t happened yet. I rooting for you,and keeping you in my thoughts all the time!!

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