The results came back from BFFs repeat semen analysis: 4% normal morphology, up from 2% in July. This is, add I anticipated, a very marginal and pretty much inconsequential improvement. Normal morphology is 14%. La and I were hoping for something like 8 or 10. 4% just feels. . . Unfair.
So we will be going forward with the IUI using BFF this time and hopehopehope that one of those 4% of normal shaped sperm find one of my five follicles and make a baby. It’s not impossible or even a total long shot. This protocol is, after all, the recommendation for a woman with PRO and a man with poor morphology. So hope isn’t lost. But today is still sad.
We will be contacting our two other potential donors to talk about moving forward with one of them.
It can’t all be good, I know, and I am still grateful for the hope we have to hang on to, but there is a fair amount of grief to contend with today as well. Especially for La, who has held on to this idea for years, the possibility for loss is just as present and palpable as the hope.