Just keep waiting.

Today was the big IVF consult! 

It went well, although you wouldn’t be able to tell that from my bad attitude. I’m chalking this up in part to the fact that life in general feels sad and hard right now. Let’s just say I’m latching on to the less awesome parts of the consult, for sure.

That less awesome part is, mostly, just how long a process this is going to be. Ok, I admit that while I was somewhat prepared for there to be a time lag, I also fantasized about getting the process going . . .oh, tomorrow. Of course, the delays are all medically necessary and, more than anything, I want this process to be medically well thought out, measured and careful – so I can hardly complain. That, of course, is the rational part of me. The other part of me is not available for comment because it has thrown itself on the floor and is flailing its arms and legs and throwing an all mighty tantrum.

The first thing we need to complete are some additional tests, namely: AMH, vitamin D, immunity, genetic screening, thyroid re-check, a hysteroscopy and trial embryo transfer. Because some of this (ok, ONE of these) requires testing on a specific day in my cycle (that has, of course, already passed for this cycle) we will have to wait until my next cycle starts to run these tests. So, really nothing can happen until somewhere near Dec. 25th, when I will celebrate the birth of baby Jesus and the (hopeful) arrival of my menses. Then I will rush home from Indiana and into the fertility clinic to get my blood drawn and my uterus looked at.

That cycle will, however, will be reserved for testing – and, if we want, an IUI with Letrozole while we are waiting. It might be worth a shot, eh? But, if the IUI doesn’t work or we choose to move forward without it, we will be able to begin down regulation, stims and egg retrieval at the end of January/February cycle. BUT . . .because of my PCOS, the doctor thinks it would be best if we forgo a fresh transfer and plan on an FET, since the risk for OHSS is increased in PCOS patients (she said less than 10% of their PCOS patients are able to do a fresh transfer because of hyper stimulation) Which means waiting until March or April for a transfer.

Once again, these are all measured and well thought out reasons, intended to increase chances for pregnancy, and healthy outcomes for me and the potential baby. And I want all of that. Its just that I also want to be pregnant, you know, a year ago . . .and we all know the amount of waiting in this damn game is just the pits. 

So, that’s the scoop.

We need to decide about the IUI, although we have a few weeks to do that. In the meantime, nothing will be happening in December, and there’s plenty to keep me busy between now and Christmas. Its just not the stuff I *wanted* to be keeping me busy, you know?

As an update to yesterday’s post – Ed has been sleeping and low energy, but mostly doing ok. He has pain pills through next week, and, depending on how things go, we will likely keep him going with those until next week when we will take him in to his regular vet and discuss options.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and good thoughts. Life feels hazy and sad, but there is hope there too.


14 thoughts on “Just keep waiting.

  1. the waiting is brutal. IVF is a tough road but it is good your doctor is advising to freeze. I have PCOS and as an egg donor I suffered from OHSS twice and it is brutal and being prepared for that rather than stressed by it impacting your timeline is definitely for the best.

  2. It sucks so hard that IVF is such a long process, especially since it usually comes after another long process of ICIs and IUIs! Totally unfair! But I’m glad the ball is rolling!! It will happen sooner than you think – time tends to creep up on us like that 🙂

  3. I’m in a conception holding pattern right now, too, so I absolutely understand how frustrating that can be. The rate of sticky pregnancies with IVF though is AMAZING. It’s an amazing opportunity. i’m so happy that you were able to get it all worked out. We’re stuck with our miserable 15% chance of IUI, and only four cycles to go before the doctor tells us to give up. *sigh* (That ended up being an “about me” comment and I totally meant for it to be an “about you” comment.)

    • Totally fine – I invite you to leave whatever kind of comments you want here!

      I have learned much about waiting in the last year. Mostly , right now, I am thinking of how I have learned to both tolerate and hate it deeply.

      Sending you calm and patience – not that I have any, but . . . 🙂

  4. Practice transfer is the one thing in there I am completely not familiar with. Oh, and why do pcos patients do better with waiting for the next cycle for transfer?

    The optimist in me says do the iui one last time but then I also know how disappointing it is every bfp.

    • The practice transfer basically allows them to make a map of your cervix and uterus so when they place the embryos, they do so in the right spot and it goes easily.
      They recommended doing the frozen embryo transfer be aide women with PCOS are at a greater risk for ovarian hyper stimulation and HCG exacerbates the OHSS, so waiting between egg retrieval (when the OHSS is likely to start) and potential pregnancy decreases the risk for serious complications. Apparently there is also a recent study that indicates waiting and doing a frozen transfer decreases the risks for pregnancy complications like gestational diabetes, pre eclampsia and pre term labor.

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