It’s not envy; it’s absence

This . . .is heartwrenching and so accurate and needs to be read.

the unexpected trip

Today at Trader Joe’s, I was surrounded by women my age or younger, all of whom had babies strapped to them, or toddlers in the cart, or little hands inside theirs. One mother beside me was picking out bags of nuts from the shelf, just like me, except she had a cheerleader in the cart beside her, a two-year-old boy going: “Yah! Yeah! Yahhh!!!” every time she tossed a bag of nuts into the cart.

“Yah!” the mother cheered back. “Nuts! Yeah! Woo!”

“Yeah!!!” he cried, then threw back his head and roared with laughter.

They went on like this for ages, grinning, absolutely smitten with each other.

I moved away from them, and felt that empty space in the front of my own cart yawning wide.

I adjusted my eyes so that I couldn’t see any details around me—shifted my eyes into “middle distance” mode. I usually do this…

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