More questions than answers

So.Much.Anxiety.

Today I went in for a CD12 ultrasound and blood work. I was anxious, since I really didn’t respond to 50mg of clomid and then responded a little too well to 100mg. So what, pray tell, would the letrozole do?

Well, it produced one big follicle, measuring in at 19mm, along with a couple of others that may or may not be big enough to be considered mature by the time we trigger.

Ah, yes, the trigger. Remember when we were hoping that today’s report would be so stellar that they would just poke me then and there? No dice. The IUI is scheduled for Friday at 1pm, and the trigger needs to happen 36 hours prior (also known as 1am.) This not only puts the trigger during a time when accessing the clinic isn’t an option, it also makes it damned near impossible for us to ask one of the other alternates on our list – like my pharmacist dad or my awesome co-worker.

So, either La or I are gonna have to steal ourselves and get this done. And by “La or I” I mean me, because girl is not going to be able to handle it. This is already clear.

So, the next question becomes how I can successfully inject myself. I’m nervous, but feel capable. Except . . .

After closer inspection of the needles sent with the novarel, I realized that the mixing syringe is an 18 gauge (for the uninformed, the bigger the number, the smaller the needle) 1and 1/2″ long, and the injection syringe is 27 gauge 1/2″ long – which is a subcutaneous size needle, and I’m supposed to do an intramuscular injection. The fact that the needle is smaller than anticipated does not actually assuage any fears, since it now feels more impossible than ever to stick it in my own butt cheek.

I have sent an e-mail to my nurse to clear these issues up. I doubt it will lower my anxiety much, but at least I’ll have expert advice to rely upon. I become more and more hopeful that this IUI will work, if only because I really can’t imagine how we will get through the many IM injections necessary for IVF . . .

 

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11 thoughts on “More questions than answers

  1. I have been through the trigger process about 10 times with my egg donations and TTC. I always injected in my belly just below my belly button. Is this not where they suggested? It’s really painless and easy to see what you are doing.

  2. I don’t have any idea how big those needles are, but just reading about it makes me nervous for you! When the time comes, you’ll find your superhuman Mama strength and do something you never thought you could.

  3. When I did my trigger they told us they are supposed to be intramuscular but they prefer we take it in the tummy. That is why my bruise and welt is so big- it wasn’t in muscle. I swear M found joy on giving me mine. The next time I requested a nurse ….. Good luck. You can do it! Make La do it – tell her it’s for the good of humanity.

  4. I agree with Caitlin, the anxiety is here now, and while I haven’t ever had to do it, I’m sure you will come up with the strength and will and I will be sending you the positive sticky baby vibes and dust from my end, rooting you on as usual!!

  5. I like what Rachel said – find out if you can jab yourself in the belly. I have no idea how you’d managed to get it in your own derriere. lol

    So excited/nervous/hopeful for you!

  6. When I gave K his trigger (the cycle we conceived E!), I injected it into his belly. When I pulled it out, I thought there was still more in it and said, “Wait!” as I jabbed it back into his tummy. Needless to say, he was caught off guard and not too pleased.

  7. I almost puked from the anxiety of my first HCG trigger, but then I learned a trick that made all injections super easy: when you pinch yourself before you inject, dig your pinky nail to create a distracting pain as you insert the needle. It makes it so much better. Good luck!!

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