Back in the saddle

Well,  the final IUI is on the books.

The trigger shot ended up being a hilarious non issue.  I made La get up with me and count down,  which she did.  And when she got to “1” I jammed the needle in my thigh and . . . LAUGHED.   Because I was shocked at how little it hurt,  and by little I mean not at all.  I laughed because I really managed to make a big deal out of something so inconsequential.  Afterwards,  though,  I did feel pretty badass.  At least when your partner is to scared to give you a shot,  it means she will be really impressed when you give it to yourself.

I decided to take the day off of work on Friday so that I wouldn’t have to drive back and forth across town before the IUI.  Plus,  La watches our nephew Liam on Fridays and he’s kind of irresistible and if I have an excuse to stay home with them, I will.
Can you blame me? 
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So La and Liam came with me to the IUI.  This is a first since the other times have been when La is teaching and can’t get away.  Of course,  given the awkward situation we are in with the clinic,  this isn’t necessarily the most straightforward experience.  By which I mean,  all of the nurses and other folks have just assumed that BFF is my husband,  an assumption we have not corrected because we don’t want to risk the extensive quarantine process.  This means that when La is with me,  there are lots of assumptions made about who she is,  but never is that assumption that we are gay together.  Throw a baby in to the mix and people are even less inclined to go there. 

Sometimes I wonder if the choice we are making is cowardly.  I don’t have ethical qualms but I do think about the history of homophobia,  internalized and not,  and wonder if we are contributing to it?  On the other hand,  I have long said that as long as fucked up systems exist for marginalized people,  those people should not feel one iota of shame about using those systems to their advantage when possible.
But it’s complex. 

This IUI wad definitely the most painful one yet.  It took the nurse forever to get the speculum in and arranged, an issue I’ve never experienced before but Damn it hurt.  And the catheter was also easy pinchier and crampier than before too.  But since the HSG remains my benchmark for cervical and uterine pain,  it was really not a big deal in comparison.

And now we wait.  This go around I have the privilege and pleasure of using prometrium suppositories.  I’m grateful for the progesterone support, since my levels have been so low the last few cycles, but those things are the pits.  I hate that I kind of have to hope I’ll be using them for a long while.  Ugh.

This is pretty funny though:
image

One per vagina, eh??

We rounded out the day with haircuts,  which were desperately needed,  so that’s nice.  But now it’s back to waiting,  and I am sorely out of practice.

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17 thoughts on “Back in the saddle

  1. Welcome to the TWW again my friend. Glad you got the shot and IUI worked out. Sorry it was painful this round, I beyond understand unfortunately. Hope the wait goes by reasonably fast foe you and ends with a BFN. Keep us all posted!

  2. That is one cute baby! Good luck on the final IUI. I’ve commented since the beginning that you gotta take pleasure in pulling one over on them. To fight it would drag out the process so much longer, and when it comes to TTC-ing it’s every woman for herself, sorry equality and LGBT community lol. I do hope that one day there are some fair and sensible policies with insurance companies and doctor’s offices/RE’s regarding options for paying for fertility treatments and not requiring ridiculous quarantines for same sex couples.

  3. Oh I wish that I could do my trigger shot in my thigh. I have to do mine in my stomach, which feels so super scary to me. I do migraine shots into my thigh and, though it hurts, I think it’s easier because it doesn’t seem to sensitive.

    I’m also another member of the community speaking up and saying that you owe us nothing in this situation!

  4. Go you! Doing self injections are hard. After years and years I’ve still never been able to do my t shots myself. Hope the next two weeks go fast.

  5. Sending a ton of love and great thoughts for a super fertile month!

    The directions on your progesterone are hilarious!

    As it relates to homophobia, not being 100% authentic in the fertility process, etc.: I am in full support of doing whatever it takes to navigate a fucked up system. It’s not fair that they would make someone go through a quarantine process for a method of conception that works for them.

  6. Ditto on the other comments: not an unjust move – do what you need to do to make this work, work around the stupid rules, you can (and do) fight for social justice in many, many other ways.

    Good luck! I had my IUI on Thurs last week so we are almost on the same track. I had 3 follicles that released an egg, so hoping for higher chances than a non-medicated cycle. Fingers crossed for both of us!

    I can’t believe those weird instructions. I don’t even understand them, they are that ridiculous. Are you taking progesterone by mouth, actually? Then why call them suppositories? I’m on prog, too, and it is so yucky. Looking forward to dpo14!

    • No, they are actually vaginal suppositories . . .they just screwed up the instructions on the script print out. I guess, though, that you can take these same pills by mouth or internally. Now that I’ve been putting them in my vag, though, I can’t imagine taking them orally. Its all so weird.

      Yes! I hope we both make it through the wait with our sanity in tact and big beautiful positives at the end!

      • Mine are kind of large to take by mouth! Blech. Though maybe that would be nicer than feeling so… gucky. 🙂
        Tomorrow is (potentially) Implantation Day for me! Yesss!

  7. Oh my goodness – I can’t get over the “by mouth per vagina.” It’s just… so perfect.
    Also re: feeling cowardly about letting their assumptions that you’re het stand: dude. It’s cool. You are not responsible for curing their ignorance. I mean, if you want, sure go ahead, but you should never feel obligated to. It looks like you already picked your battle and that it’s actually better if you don’t than do and that’s fine, not cowardly. Sure saves a lot of stress, which is the last thing you need during this process.
    Here’s wishing you luck on your current attempts (I know this post was January…).

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