Anything to Avoid Google

Its 5 days past my IUI, which means I have been insanely thinking of whether or not the egg got fertilized and might be tumbling down a fallopian tube towards my uterus for . . .4 and 1/2 days.

If there is someway to avoid this being the primary thing I think about, I would love to hear it. But based on the posts y’all make, my guess is that this elusive solution either doesn’t exist or has remained so elusive none of us are aware of it. I’ve been trying to decide if I prefer the first week (optimism, but you know that nothing you are feeling/thinking/experience can reasonably be correlated to pregnancy because implantation hasn’t even happened) or, week two (nagging doubts, harder to stay positive, but at least the obsessive google searches feel somewhat tied to reality) – and I have concluded they are each a different and special kind of suffering. 

My only TTC related news is that I believe I successfully ‘tested out’ my trigger this morning. I have been testing every other day (initially, just for the novelty of seeing what a positive pregnancy test looks like) and this morning it was back to what I’m used to, namely: stark white. I’m 6 days past trigger, so that seems reasonable. I haven’t noticed much in the way of side effects from either the trigger or the progesterone, which I am appreciative of . . .although the underwear sludge is something I could do without. (Sorry not sorry bitches, this is a TTC blog)

SO, rather than bore you any further with TTC non-updates, I thought I would share some things that are kind of awesome and only tangentially related to trying to get pregnant. I’m calling this episode of the blog “Andie’s Favorite Things!” – sorry I’m not Oprah and can’t get you all free shit from my sponsors, because I don’t have any. whomp whomp.

So now, without further adieu . . .

  • The Oil Cleansing Method! In December, whilst getting my nails done and ready trashy fashion magazines (my favorite thing to do while I’m getting a pedicure) I read a cosmo article about this (yes, cosmo publishes more than just heterocentric sex tips!) and thought I would give it a try, because I much prefer making my own toiletries/products when I can, and I am inherently a contrarian. The basic gist is that instead of washing your face with soap, you wash it with oils. And while this sounds disgusting, it is not. Because science! Basically, like dissolves like (remember, from sophomore chemistry?) and so ‘washing’ with oil allows you to dissolve the nasty oil and sebum from your face and replace it with new, good oil. I, too, was skeptical, friends. And while I live in Colorado (also known as the place where skin goes to wither and dry up and wrinkle) I also have an oily complexion and am somewhat prone to zits. I decided to give it two weeks, and if I broke out and looked like the fryer at Burger King, I would blame it on hormones and call it quits. BUT IT DIDN’T! Instead, my skin is soft and clean and needs no lotion – ever! Plus, its hella cheap and makes me smell delicious. Here’s a link for y’all who are ready to take the plunge! I use 1/3 castor oil, 2/3 grapeseed oil, 10 drops of lavender (its antifungal and anti bacterial!) and 10 drops tea tree oil, in about a 3 oz container. No zits since December, y’all. 
  • Chia Seed Pudding! Ok, so the dietician I’ve been working with – who is super supportive and, if not ‘fat positive’ than at least not fat shaming – has encouraged me to eliminate dairy, grains, vegetable oils and . . .SUGAR. The dairy, grains and oils went away without complaint or issue. I thought I might miss cheese (and I do, sometimes) but I’ve been shockingly happy with the modified paleo plan, and have been sticking to it. Sugar, though. Damnit, I can’t quit you! I have been working on a plan of progress vs. perfection, and so have been limiting my sugar intake instead of quitting, since the latter just makes me feel crazy rage that ends in eatingallthedonuts! Chia seed pudding has, so far, been my favorite non-sugar sweet-ish treat – and it actually feels like it meets the craving, in some respect. Now, to be fair, there is stevia in it – which may or may not count as non-sugar depending on your preferences. Imma let y’all debate that for yourselves. I’m ok with the stevia, the nutritionist is ok with the stevia. So, here’s what you do: 1/2 c. chia seeds, 2 1/2 c. almond or coconut milk, a few drops of stevia. Combine all and stir well. Let sit in the fridge for a while. Then stir again to avoid clumping. Refrigerate until set. Add berries and nuts! If you have texture issues, or don’t like tapoica/rice pudding type of textures, this might not be for you. But I f**king love it. 
  • Coconut Chicken Crispers! This is another ‘paleo’ recipe, but so far, its the only one that has made it into super heavy rotation at our house. I’m the primary cook, and I don’t have much experience cooking non-poultry meat well. Since paleo/the plan I’m using is so heavily meat and plan (vs. grain) based, I am learning quickly. But this is a good fall back when I want to make something easy that is guaranteed to be delicious. La also loves it. You need: a package of chicken (breasts or tenders, preferably free range organic, but dudes I know that can’t always happen), 1/4 c. coconut or almond flour, 1/2 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp onion powder, other spices you like (I usually do some rosemary, sage, thyme and a little basil), 2 eggs beaten with a splash of non-dairy milk (coconut, almond), 1 1/2-2 c. shredded (unsweetened) coconut, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper. Mix the flour, garlic, onion and selected spices in one bowl, beat the eggs with milk in another bowl, and combine the shredded coconut with the salt and pepper on a third plate. Then dip the chicken (I cut it into fairly small pieces so we can use for salads) in the flour mixture, then in the egg, then in the coconut mixture, coating each time. Put in a cooking pan or sheet (you can put foil over it to aid in clean up, but I prefer a little oil in a pan to make slipping easy) and bake on 400 degrees for 10-20 minutes, turning once to brown both sides. You could probably fry in coconut oil too – I bet that would be crispy and delicious – but I haven’t tried it.
  • The Broncos! Ok, I won’t dwell because some of you (a lot of you?) don’t give a shit about the super bowl or football or whatever. But I’m super excited! I was raised to be a football femme, and my hometeam hasn’t been to the superbowl in a long time. So I hope that, should you not have yet chosen a team to favor, that you might favor my sweet Denver Broncos and the best damned offense in the NFL.

That’s all, friends. I know many of you are similarly suffering through the longest wait. Make some chia pudding, it won’t distract you but it will make the wait more delicious.


16 thoughts on “Anything to Avoid Google

  1. I’ve gotta admit – we’re paleo converts over here. I wish that wasn’t even a term, because it allows people to disparage in a way that’s not reasonable if you’re not living in that exact same body. Meat doesn’t work for some people, sugar doesn’t work for others. I’m totally in support of whatever keeps you alive AND works for you! Also, chia seed pudding is awesome and I love the recipe you mentioned. Other things I love – the broncos winning and getting pregnant. Fingers crossed for both!

    • Yeah, my reticence about adopting a full on paleo label is more about hating anything popular and distancing myself from general popularity since adolescence. Plus, I think its a ridiculous name because I can pretty much guarantee my ancestors weren’t eating coconut flour – but since I’m not trying to return to some food purity, just reduce inflammation and eat better – it doesn’t really matter to me. La is really excited about the amount of meat we are eating. I am feeling better and pooping daily (a previously elusive event) – so I’m sticking with it! If you ever have delicious recipes or your favorite go-to sites, I’d totally be into them!

  2. If you ever find something to help you not obsess over every little thing during the 2WW PLEASE LET ME KNOW, I seriously struggle with that too.

    LMAO about your Oprah comment. I was hoping I was about to win a car until I saw that statement, lol. Regarding the OCM…..I did it for several months about a year ago, and LOVED it. My skin was wonderful…..but then I scheduled a facial, and my esthetician said I had the most blackheads I had ever had. Coincidence? I think not. I don’t know if maybe I didn’t have enough castor in my concoction….or what, but I stopped. I did love it while I was using it though. Good luck with the rest of your wait! I haven’t even started mine yet (IUI will be Monday) and I’m already anxious as hell about the results.

  3. Aside from the random gluten free dessert, I try to eat paleo as well. I too hate the fad-like obsession people have with different ways of eating and working out. I just do it because I like it. I will have to try your chicken fingers recipe!

  4. Try to stay “positively neutral” if you can this next coming stretch of the TWW. I personally prefer the first week when I’m so neutral I’m normal instead if half crazy person. I’ve been googling my brains out this cycle so don’t feel bad. I’m crossing everything I can for you guys!!

  5. coconut chicken crispers sounds delish!!!! so trying it! And well I live with a super footballer… She’s for the Seahawks.. I love Manning so I’m with you!!!! I may not watch the game itself but I’ll still be rooting for them.

  6. I love your description of the two weeks in the 2ww! Had me laughing.

    I’m gluten free because I have to be, and not because I think it’s fun ;-), and have been working hard to avoid sugar and dairy but gd those grains! I even manage no ice cream for months on end by pureeing frozen bananas but I have a really hard time with giving up grains. My body hurts something awful and I know I need to be eating better… Wah wah. I have a coconut chicken recipe waiting in my saved links that a friend gave me this week! I have more motivation to try it now.

  7. woah. mind blown by oil cleaning method—my husband has acne and i am totally going to try this with him! thank you. diet sounds great! i’m doing okay with my new eating habits, except for caffeine which i cannot seem to shake (do you drink caffeine?)

  8. Is the TWW killing you? Because I am at dpo10 and gave in and tested today. Got a very faint BFP but it means nothing because I never “tested out” the trigger shot. Aaaahhhhh! Hope you are keeping a cooler head than I am!

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