Four years . . . two years . . .one year on

It’s April 14th, 2014! The day before your taxes are due (so I hope you’ve done ’em!) It’s also the second anniversary of me and La’s G.L.E.E. (Gay Love Extravaganza Event!) 



We called it a GLEE to disentangle it from all the B.S. that comes with “wedding” and also because two years ago, there was no legal recognition for our relationship. But, if I’m being honest, its mostly because the idea of a “wedding” really freaked me out and I didn’t want there to be disappointment when we didn’t have things like white dresses or bridesmaids. So, we had a GLEE.

Should I tell you the story of how La and I met? I don’t think I have yet. I think its a good story. Maybe you will too!

I was working as the program director for our local LGBTQ Youth Drop In Space. By the time we met, I was on my downward slope to burnout due to organizational politics, but I was still loving my job most of the time. The Director of Development (whom I continue to harbor deep loathing for, although at this point it was just general dislike) contacted me and said she had a friend who was an actress who wanted to come and work with ‘the kids.’

*Side note: when you work with marginalized (or really, any) youth, there are always LOTS of adults who want to offer their special skills to those youth to make themselves feel good, but who usually don’t want to actually have to interact with or deal with the reality of those youth. I had developed a pretty intense skepticism about people who wanted to work with “the kids.”

I said, “Ok, have her contact me.” So she did. And I wrote her an e-mail saying, “If you want to do this you need to come in and propose the idea to the youth council and they will decide if they want you to offer something.” Aside from being a youth driven space, this was a tactic to avoid some of that self congratulatory BS that I saw so much of. And she said, “Ok.”

So, I scheduled a time for the actress to come in and meet with the youth council. On the day of our meeting, I walked out to the front of the building to use the bathroom and spotted this super hot woman. Since I worked at the LGBT community center, it wasn’t unusual for hot, super gay women to hang around at my work. But this one was particularly hot. As I sat down on the toilet I realized that the woman out there was probably the actress I was supposed to be meeting with.

Which was a problem because I am terrible at approaching people I think are hot. And I had to approach her. And I’d kind of been a dick over e-mail to her. Shit.

But, I pulled it together, exited the bathroom, and said, “Hi. Are you La? I’m Andie. I think we have a meeting.”

Of course, because La is who she is, the youth thought she was amazing and OF COURSE wanted her to come in and do a theater program with them. Which meant I was going to be seeing a lot more of her. And, I was going to be a technically supervisory role. Shit.

I happened to be in the midst of ending a pseudo-relationship (with a co-worker because I was making *really good* life decisions at that moment, clearly) and so the whole thing got side tracked for a while. Until one night, when shit had kinda hit the fan with the other girl, and I stumbled across La’s profile on OKC. And I sent her a message that said, “If you ever want to hang out when there aren’t 40 queer youth running around, you should let me know.” 

And she replied, “I would love to hang out, let’s keep things friendly and professional.”

Friendly and professional?!? Well, if that wasn’t a shut down without actually shutting me down, I don’t know what was. But, we made an agreement to meet at a local coffee shop on a friday, the week before Christmas, at 10am.

During the conversation, La spent a lot of time talking about how she was recently out of a relationship, and really just wanted friends. Friends. I wanted to say, “hey. I get it. You’re not interested.” But we kept talking, for hours. Until after 2pm, making me late for work. Still, all signs pointed to “not gonna happen.”

La went back to Indy for Xmas, and while she was there, I posted on FB that I wanted to go see a particular movie. She replied (b/c of course we were FB friends by now) that I should wait till she got back so we could go together. Feeling confused but excited, I agreed. She then added that she would be house sitting for a place that had a hot tub, and maybe we could go over there afterwards. Which confused me even more.

So, we went to see Precious (not generally good first date material, I’d say) and went back to the house sitting house to hot tub. And we talked for more hours. And I got more confused and also more smitten. But, still nothing definitive.

Until the next day, when she called me, and during our conversation I mentioned having a cramp from the hot tub jet, and she offered to massage my back for me. Bingo. The lightbulb went off. I was in.

A few months later, after we’d been on many dates (while successfully keeping things quiet so the youth didn’t know about it) we made it official on Feb. 14th, 2010. Two years later, we had a GLEE. A year after that, on May 1, 2013, we got a civil union. Someday soon, we’ll had one more anniversary to that list, when we can get ‘real married.’

On Saturday, we drove up to the old opera house where we had our GLEE, and ate dinner at the attached restaurant (prime rib, because while it was on the menu for our GLEE, we were too busy to actually eat any of it.) We also bought each other jeans, because the second anniversary is the “cotton” anniversary.  Tonight, we are going out with BFF and BFFBF and our other best buddy SH to celebrate with community an event which we feel was deeply tied to our community. It wasn’t just La and I who got GLEE’d, we asked all of the people we love to support us, so they’re in the mess now too. 🙂

We are back to the bulldog puppy countdown – four days!

And the nuva.ring countdown is just one! It comes out on Wednesday!

Suppression check is only 5 days away, on Easter Sunday. I am excited to have this cycle be reborn as well.

And it’s Holy Week, which is one of my favorite weeks of all! My tiny but awesome church does a traditional Triduum – three days of services, with Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Vigil spanning a single liturgy over three days and many hours. Its wonderful. And then we have a dance party. Because nothing says “he is risen!” like a dance party. 


5 thoughts on “Four years . . . two years . . .one year on

  1. Oh goodness, the confusing signals, smitten on the rise, then making sure to keep it professional around the kids! Highly entertaining to read that and I think I usually play the confused smitten roll. Happy anniversary!

  2. Happy Anniversary! I love the “how we met” story. My partner and I say that one of the pluses of being queer is having lots of different anniversaries to celebrate. Hoping you get to add a legal wedding to the list someday soon.
    And a “He is Risen” dance party sounds fabulous! Enjoy!

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