I’m updating this from the cozy, squishy, white sheeted bed of the hotel we booked on groupon for our bedrest staycation. La is out at a meeting and then rehearsal for the drag show she’s performing in on Saturday. Hero (who is no longer with Smokey and who is, once again, the bestie I have loved for many years) brought us a bag of groceries and delicious Indian food, hung out, and just left.

All day, people have sent messages – pictures of the Empress tarot card from their much beloved deck, kind wishes, cheers, songs sung on voice mail messages. Our friend and dog sitter is taking care of our furry friends in our absence and calls it her gift to our new family.Tomorrow, two other friends are coming over to lounge and play games and do a ritual for our little embryo.  We are being held by a community that I am so very, very grateful to have.

No matter what happens, I’m so blessed with a community of people who love me, who will celebrate our joy or grieve our pain, and who have all been instrumental, in some way or another, to this creation story.

The transfer went smoothly. The embryologist decided this morning to transfer #7 instead of #3 (no big changes to report, if you catch my drift) because #7 had frozen better, and was therefore presumed to be likely to thaw better as well. I now present you with the requisite IVF blog embryo photo (plus a bonus of La in the scrubby hat and funny face):

2014-07-17 11.19.12

2014-07-17 11.52.06


#7 looks ‘great and healthy’ and is hatching out of its little zona pellucida, which is awesome. My lining looked lush and lovely, and Dr. Awesome said “I wish I could guarantee you that you will get pregnant, but I can’t. I can tell you there isn’t any reason you *shouldn’t*.” Which feels like as close to a guarantee as I’d want, anyway.

Now we wait. Right now, though, I feel lovely. There is a buzzing in my abdomen and I feel sweet and calm and contented. I doubt this will last too terribly long, but I’ll enjoy it for now.

Finally, thank you to all of you for holding us as well, across the world wide interweb. You are part of this creation story, too. ❤


18 thoughts on “Held.

  1. I’m sending you all the hope, love, and so much excitement!! Try to stay relaxed and don’t stress too much! And above all, get comfy! I’m sending you all the baby luck in the world! I just can’t wait until you finally get your BFP, you guys are going to be the most awesome moms and I can’t wait to be here when it happens.

  2. Back from my trip to find this happy news in my reader—-yayeeeeee! I just love you and La together–that pic says it all. I’ve never had an embryo make it to hatching…hot damn girl! It’s ready and wants to become your little bay-bay! So excited and just on my tippy-toes waiting to hear your next announcement …

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