Like molasses in the freezer, these are the days of our lives (3dp5dt)

We’re back home with the four leggeds, on the cusp of another work week, 3 days past our transfer, stuck in what seems like it will be an endlessly lurching set of days. I’m trying not to think about how slowly time is moving, because it really only adds to the creep, but when you’re waiting for something to happen, its hard to not think of that thing and the space that resides between it and you. 

I rarely feel this way, although that feels like an abject lie because haven’t I just been waiting, a string of unending ellipses, for years now? And waiting to be in this moment, in particular, for months? But even with all of that, I’m usually pretty good at passing time, at finding things to do. Today we had a few hours in between when we got home and dinner with my parents, and I felt BORED. I hate ‘bored.’ My general approach to ‘bored’ is that you aren’t trying hard enough – after all, we live in America in 2014 – things abound, distractions abound. Books, games, friends, places (free or not), thoughts, art, wonder! But you know what? When all you want is something that only time can deliver, it is rather easy to see all of those things as paltry substitutions, unwanted distractions.

One of my favorite things to do with free time is my wife. Unfortunately, that is off the deck. Yep, no sexy fun time while you’re waiting to find out in your embryo implanted/your embryo is implanting. The post transfer instructions said ‘no sexual activity’ for bed rest and then ‘no sexual intercourse’ until pregnancy is confirmed by ultrasound (when is that BTW? like, 8 weeks? I need to be able to pace myself!) but I thought maybe that literally meant no penises in the vagina, which is not a problem around here. To be sure, I sent an excrutiatingly awkward e-mail to Ice-T. She clarified that it means no ‘stimulation’ or orgasms, which fucking sucks. I mean, I think its probably a bit of a stretch to think that an orgasm would jar an embryo loose, but who am I to argue with medical science?

I didn’t feel like poor La should have to suffer alongside me, so I was able to pass some time on that excellent pursuit, although I’m bummed that reciprocity isn’t in the cards for me. Someone on a message board said ‘ask your husband to give you a massage to satisfy your need for closeness’ and you know massages are nice but they aren’t orgasms.

Not much else to report. I’ve been trying to decide if I should list my ‘symptoms’/ try to analyze them here. I mean, I understand that literally every aspect of my cycle is being manipulated which means both everything means nothing and, also, everything means something. For example: boobs hurt today. Progesterone-in-oil related? perhaps, but I’ve been on the PIO since last saturday – so why hurty boobs now? Also, weird crampy feelings – neither specifically menstrual feeling, nor poop related, but could totally be psychosomatic. Nothing so forensic and verifiable as spotting or anything. Still, I am allowing myself to believe that whatever I am feeling is seafoam burrowing deep and latching on solidly, because I have every reason to believe it is.

The final question at this point is, of course, when we will take a test. La was adamant, pre-transfer, about waiting for the beta. I didn’t try to persuade because I fairly well knew things would change once the embryo was in the uterus.  My primary concern is that the beta is next Monday, and will, of course, require a call, which will happen while I’m at work. Could be worse, since my colleagues are gems, but I also have a pretty big deal meeting next Monday afternoon and I’d like to be on my game as much as possible. So, I think we will almost certainly do a pee test Monday morning before the beta, to at least have a heads up. But that will be 11dp5dt, which is quite far out. And I hang out on way too many message boards and know about all these folks who start testing at 4 or 5 days past. This isn’t really an option for us, since I have my last HCG booster tomorrow. Its a paltry 10 units of nova.rel, which I imagine will be marginally impactful on a pee test, but would definitely throw into question a positive we got at 5, 6 or even 7 days past – right? The other option is to ‘test it out’ which seems both reasonable and anxiety provoking. Saturday could be a good median, but its Liam’s birthday party and that could maybe be hard or awesome? Advice solicited.

That’s what I got . . .continued gratitude for the beams of good woo and general positive vibes. They are coming right back at you!

 

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21 thoughts on “Like molasses in the freezer, these are the days of our lives (3dp5dt)

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  1. I’m wishing you very good news for next Monday. Yes, losing out on sexy time for 8 weeks sounds absurd. I mean, I think I would go mad without some kind of release. I might end up attacking someone (hopefully DW, but who knows in desperate times what I might do). Anyway, yes, you ask her for a nice massage. Lol.

  2. “Massages are nice, but they aren’t orgasms” I love it!! 8 weeks is a very long time but looking at the bigger picture 8weeks with no sex means you will have a little baby growing!

  3. As one of the minority who can’t enjoy getting laid in pregnancy I’m totally sympathetic to your 8 week pain. When you are past that point please, for the love of the goddess, hump like crazy.

  4. Sitting on the edge of my seat over here! Good luck ladies, I know this may be a ‘frustrating’ time, but it will all be worth it, when that baby is all snuggled in and implanted! I’m just sending you a double and triple dose of good vibes and baby sticky stuff!

  5. I think they typically confirm with ultrasound pretty early with ivf. What do your boards have to say about that? Then you get transferred to your OB/Midwife and get an ultrasound with them about 11 weeks. I vote test out the medicine and then keep testing. It doesn’t count as negative until your beta test so before that is just seeing if it showed up early. And, this will work and you will never be bored again.

  6. Ultrasound is usually 8 weeks give or take a few days. It’s when they detect the heartbeat. Did you read that? A real heartbeat is hopefully only 4 weeks away!

    Here is my advice on the testing. Take a test Sunday. A cheap dollar store one. Won’t ruin a bday party or Give you mega anxiety during your day at work. And with excellent news you can get all excited together for the day before you have to share the news with all of us! No matter what the results are you will want that time alone as a couple. And on Sunday, you can hopefully second guess yourself and your own judgement and send out photos of the test to people you have never met on Facebook and ask their opinion. 😉

  7. Oh I have no idea about all the testing when it comes to IVF – but yay for being post FET 🙂 (I’ve been away on conference since last week so missed the news.) x

  8. That wait is so incredibly anxiety provoking. We waited for the beta only because we wanted to be sure, and with all the hormones coursing through your body, you could very well produce a false positive, and the only thing worse than an negative is a false positive!!! And, trust me! That whole, “no intercourse” thing blows! We are just getting back into the swing of things, but it took a whole lot of melt-downs to get over that. And if your going through the IVF, after they confirm a positive test, they’ll ask you to come in for an u/s within the next couple of days, so it’s more like 5-6 weeks…lol! It’s a long wait, but it’s 2 weeks shorter than 8! And all those little symptoms sound promising!!!!! Hoping beyond hope that this is happening for you guys!

  9. So, posting this comment makes me look bad, but my only advice is, don’t do the test by yourself, because you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t possibly be pregnant so you’ll let yourself down gently by doing it a little too early so that when it comes up negative it means you can think, yep, probably not pregnant, but maybe, MAYBE we are still in with a chance, because after all it was too early, so now you’ll just wait for testing properly, this time with your partner, on the right day – the day you agreed on – and then the test, the FIRST TEST, reads POSITIVE and you are at home by yourself and your partner is at work, in a meeting. Uncontactable. Which is what happened to me. Obviously you wouldn’t be that silly. GOOD LUCK AND SO MANY BABY WISHES TO YOU!!! xox

  10. My recommendation: watch that show/read that book/play that game you’ve been meaning to. Keep your mind occupied with fun stuff for the next week.

  11. I would suggest testing out your hcg. I didn’t do that after trigger, and i tested on (i believe) 10dp5dt, 11dp5dt, and 12dp5dt, and had a faint line from residual trigger left in my system.

  12. Seeing as it usually takes about 8 days for my trigger to leave (which is probably a higher dose – I’ve never used novarel), I’d agree with Maverick and test out the trigger. Otherwise you still may not know if next Monday morning’s is legit or leftover. My sympathies on the dry spell you’re in and hopefully will stay in until first ultrasound and best of luck with the coming days and beta.

  13. Your title is fantastic. Eventually, the days will pass. The only way out is through! I am thinking all the good thoughts in the world for you guys.

  14. ha this gave me a good morning laugh over my first cup of coffee this Monday morning. Thanks. The dreaded wait.. but oh how exciting the results may be!!! we’re all rooting and anxiously waiting along side you. My wife got inseminated over the weekend. 2ww be good to us all ;p

  15. “One of my favorite things to do with free time is my wife”. I had to re-read that one a few times. You made me laugh. I seriously thought you left a word out. 🙂 Good luck whether you choose to POAS or not. Either way, I’m rooting for you. Come on POSITIVE!

  16. I know what you mean though we brought sexy back around 6 weeks, good luck waiting and fingers crossed there’s a good news no matter how you decide to test.

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the snearses

some vegetables, some cats

The MD & Me

~ my not so glamorous but oh so blessed life ~

Star In Her Eye

raising a rare girl

Mama et Maman

A blog about two moms trying to conceive

Becoming Mommy and Mama

Two ladies on a baby adventure

YoungIVFerChantelle

My journey to get my Miracle.

single ma in siberia

a single Australian queer's TTC quest/ parenthood journey

babamimi

"Your family needs a reality TV show"

Our Egg, Her Nest?

My journey to Motherhood through gestational surrogacy

Raising Race Conscious Children

a resource for talking about race with young children

Three Hearts Beating

Two lesbian mamas make some queer spawn...

Papa Bear

how two boys made a baby

midwestmammas

lesbian, parenting, ttc, lgbt, baby

and baby makes 3

two moms and a new baby

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