Y’all do NOT like to be kept waiting! Apologies for the tardy update, I’ll try not to let it happen again!
La sent this picture, and I don’t have a comparison to yesterday’s, but in any case it is still looking good! With each subsequent test further away from the miniscule HCG shot and closer to the beta, I get a little more sure that I am pregnant.
My heart catches when I even think that, it feels like bad juju, like tempting fate. I was always loathe to think that in past cycles, even when I felt like it could be true, even when my bright eyed optimist darling said it over and over again to live in the possible joy of it.
But oh, it’s felt so so lovely to see the excitement from all of you! (pushy though you might be about the tests!) And yesterday my former boss-current -colleague cried when I told her the news (I only see her once a week and just couldn’t bear her not knowing, she has been such a champion for us – crying in shared grief at our struggle and hoping so hugely alongside us) And one of our besties started singing a song over the phone, and my office mate hugged me so big and told me she was so excited to see the adventure. (I swear it seems like we’ve told everyone but really we haven’t and honestly? These people have seen us through it all, how could we keep the joy from them?)
I am feeling . . .gross, is the best way to describe it. Not usually a heartburn person, I am getting it daily. My poo super highway has slowed down – not out of the ordinary for me – and probably mostly thanks to the progesterone. I feel just general malaise . . .not really nauseated but kinda pukey, kind of headachey, kind of run down. Is it seafoam or too many nights of too much to do? Seafoam or lack of good quality sleep? Seafoam or the daily shot to the ass, courtesy of sweet La?
A few more days until the beta (hopefully) confirms this strange thing. Until then, we have one more FRER (from the three pack) and a digital that I have been keeping under the sink since our first try in January 2013. We decided we’ll take Monday off from the peeing.