Y’all, I need a space to talk about my butt, and this is gonna have to be it. I can’t do it on facebook, heaven knows my co-workers don’t need to know anything, and my spouse (while lovely and supportive) just really shouldn’t have to know about these things. But you – you who have borne babies or are growing them, who stick your fingers in your vag and check out your cervical mucus and feel your cervix for changes – YOU ARE MY PEOPLE.
The last few days I’ve been pretty miserable. My carpel tunnel seems to be getting worse, and the exercises I was using to keep it manageable don’t seem to be working. It’s a lot of pain and a lot of numbness and a whole lot of pain in my (figurative) ass.
And then I got a stomach bug. And herein lies the literal pain in my ass. We ate Indian food before our breastfeeding class on Wednesday night, and I thought maybe it had just not set well. But all night Wednesday, long into Thursday day and evening, I have been making many more trips to the bathroom than I’d like.
Today, my belly still hurts but I seem to be off the liquid poo. Unfortunately, my excess potty trips resulted in my hemorrhoids, which had been kept at bay via stool softeners and witch hazel wipes, to get hella agitated. And this, my friends, is my real suffering. Pain and irritation in my butt so bad I can hardly sit down. Walking is no better. My only vague relief is laying on my side, with no pressure anywhere near my ass. It’s really rather miserable.
This is how I spent my lunch break:
It has made my day tolerable, but just barely. I mean, I was definitely contemplating going home from work, and now I think I can handle being here for a few more hours. So, I’m being serious about both the pain and the relief. Please send hemorrhoid shrinking woo.
In much less gross and uncomfortable news (but maybe still TMI for the weak amongst you), we went to an awesome breastfeeding class at our hospital and got to see a grown woman insert a giant stuffed breast into her mouth. La and I both looked away from each other to avoid exploding in laughter. Yes, we are that childish. After learning the hand expression technique, I tried it and got a little colostrum! This is especially exciting for me, as I have PCOS and harbor a lot of fear about being able to breastfeed adequately. The lactation consultant told me to let them know when we delivered and they’d ‘take a more aggressive approach’ to pumping, etc. Hooray!
I leave you with the 32 week bump!