I am writing this update from my office, where I am attached to my Med.ela pump-in-style double pump, expressing milk. I am lucky to work for an organization that is super chill about these things, and even more so with an office mate who is an aspiring midwife and therefore, is even kind of excited for me to be doing weird bodily things, like attaching myself to a milk machine.
It’s my first week back at work. It’s too early to be here but, that’s the breaks when you’re an american. I am here two days a week for the next three weeks, then two days a week for another two, and then back full time – 4 days in the office and 1 at home. I’m grateful for this transition, and also for an amazing partner who is willing to bring my little smidgen to me during lunch so I can nurse him and take the edge off of missing him. I know it will get easier, and that I really *don’t* want to quit my job (even though that’s absolutely what I decided on my drive in this morning) but it’s not easy, this work-mom balance thing. Tuesday’s good news is that I pumped a total of 6oz, or exactly what I need to for the hours I was away from A. And, I met my 4oz in a single session goal, so that’s a win.
On the work front- I had the interview with the big national org on Friday, and it went well. I only occasionally couldn’t think of the right word for my intention, and managed to sound pretty damned smart much of the time. Phone interviews are the hardest, though, since you can’t gauge how things are going based on body language and facial expressions. But I think I did ok. The hiring manager told me that they were doing an initial interview with 5 candidates, and then would narrow that down to three for second interviews, and then do third interviews with the top 2. I should know if I’ve made it to the next step in a week. The timeline is somewhat ridiculous – with the ‘latest start date’ being July 15th. If I do get an offer, I will absolutely be negotiating that because even when you DON’T have an infant, a month to move cross country is sort of absurd. But, again – chickens . . .hatched . . .etc.
Yesterday was Ansel’s 2 month check-up and first round of vaccines. All things considered, it wasn’t as hard a day as it could have been. He is weighing in at 10lbs 2oz, up from 9lbs 15oz on Monday at group. He’s also 22 1/2 inches long, head measuring 38.3cm, putting him between the 10th and 25th percentile for all measurements. So, still on the small side, but he’s jumped from the 5th percentile for weight to the 25th, so that’s a great improvement, and most important, he continues to grow well! The shots weren’t so bad; I nursed him while the nurse gave them, and while he did cry and turn deep red, he recovered very quickly with the help of a boob. We went to the Museum of Nature and Science to see the Mythical Creatures exhibit, then came home for a long family nap in the bed. He slept shockingly well last night, considering his day.
I am quickly learning that I looked like shit during my pregnancy. How, you ask? Well, everyone I see these days can’t stop talking about how “GOOD” I look. They are using words like “beautiful” “so pretty” “just fabulous” and they don’t stop at the casual and anticipated, “So good to see you, you look great!” No, no. These are gushes, repeated, “oh my god! You look SO GOOD!! Like, so pretty! Wow!” And, of course, we all know how often “you look good” is code for “you’ve lost weight” when said with just that inflection that all women are taught. It’s making me uncomfortable.
So, I finally asked La. And she admitted that “you looked REALLY exhausted all the time” and, apparently, my face got waaaay puffy. These things, plus the pregnancy face acne (which has migrated to my back, post partum!) the overall weight gain and my schnoz getting huge and bulbous, apparently had me looking pretty rough. I also think the bar is lower when you’re already fat. I mean, people think I lost weight (and I did) but it was mostly just a baby and his accessories, not, like . . .a diet. Anyway, it’s weird but flattering, I guess? Also, I am way more tired now but pulling it off better, I guess. I am newly in love, and that can do wonders for your looks.
So, without further adieu, here are the latest from the little dude:
Baby Unicorn at the museum
Month 1 vs. Month 2!
I highly recommend investing in or making baby legwarmers. They are diaper changes made easy and life made more adorable.