You guys. YOU GUYS, why am I such a terrible blogger now? I sort of can’t even handle how disappointed in myself I am. It happens so easily, though. You get busy and miss a week or two, and then so much has happened and the time has passed and you finally have the time to update but it’s going to take too long to update so you don’t, and then it all snowballs until you eventually come back, head hung, and start an entry like this. Ugh. I’m so done with it.
Here’s a baby to make up for it.
But I value this space, both the record of my life and the friendships it’s created. So I can’t just leave it altogether. And this isn’t the first, and won’t be the last, self effacing prologue I write. So, apologies all around.
I feel like I have finally emerged from the turbulent ocean I’ve been treading water in for the last few months. La finished her show this past weekend, and so the semi-solo parenting stint I was doing has come to a glorious end. Only a few days in, and the relief is so great.
Also this past weekend, I turned 34. I don’t feel 34, mostly because 34 sounds like something I can’t relate to, I guess. Like, someone who is 34 should probably have a more practical haircut and a more substantial savings account. But, the fact remains, I am in fact 34. Other than the gray patch taking over at my temples, I’d like to think you mostly can’t tell. We celebrated by having brunch with friends and then went to my extended family’s ‘agrimusment’ park/pumpkin patch/petting zoo/corn maze. It was a little too hot to really feel like fall, but we got some truly exceptionally adorable pictures of Ansel sitting with some pumpkins.
For my birthday, La showered me with gifts every day for a week (she’s totally a keeper, eh?) including a tinsel pig , new jammies, a pedicure gift card, a coffee gift card, and adult coloring books and colored pencils! With my birthday money, I got a pair of red cowgirl boots that fill me with deep joy, and a blue coach briefcase (Coach outlet, I love you so!) that makes me almost feel my age. And the coziest cardigan and the most amazingly soft jeggings because yes, I am totally a fucking mom now.
Ansel hit 7 months (pictures forthcoming!) on Saturday! He is sosososo close to crawling, but hasn’t quite coordinated everything yet. He can get on his knees and rock back and forth and scoot backwards and launch himself forward, basically all the pre-requisites, but he isn’t yet actually crawling. I imagine it will be very soon, especially given how much he rolls forward into crawl position from sitting these days. He’s eating more and more food, getting much better at feeding himself accurately and with difficult foods. He loves dance parties and peek a boo and when you laugh at him. He hates having his face wiped off, laying on his changing table, and getting into the carseat.
I mentioned a few posts back that we are donating two of our embryos to some friends, something I always felt was just a given – after all, what else would we do with them? We are lucky enough to have more than we could ever use. We are in the final stages of getting things set for them to be sent off and transferred to my friend in either November or December. It’s sort of strange to be on this side of things, involved and so excited, but not in the ‘hot seat’ so to speak. La and I were talking about it the other day, and I think right now, I think I’m holding off on how to feel, if that makes sense. I think I will have a different set of feelings depending on the outcome, and so, in my typical fashion, I’m reserving my feelings until I know a bit more what they will be. In the meantime, I’m trying to lend my experience of being in the anxious IVF process to my friends, and do whatever I can to smooth the bumps from this end of things.
That’s all the update I’ve got in me for now, that and a promise to try to keep up, although I know it’s a promise I might not be able to keep. I keep up with all of you, and try to comment. I find your lives much more interesting to read about than mine is to write about, anyway.