We are not moving to Olympia, WA. At least not in the next few weeks.
I got an e-mail about an hour ago that I was not selected for the position. It doesn’t matter what the final outcome would have been, it sucks to get turned down. This is the third job I’ve applied for and not gotten since Ansel was born, and it’s beginning to sting a little.
I’m trying to console myself knowing that they may not have chosen me because I’m remote and would have needed 6 weeks to move and get into the position, or by reminding myself that the max salary range was still $4K less than I make right now, or by trusting that maybe this means the ideal job for L is coming (which could still be in Olympia . . .) But being rejected stings. There’s just no way around it.
But, onward and upward, eh?
In more exciting news: Ansel turns 1 in TEN DAYS. What?!
That means that a year ago this coming Sunday we went into the hospital (and thought we were gonna have a baby that day. ha ha ha ha ha ha) A year ago Thursday, I found out that I no longer had 3+ weeks to finish my work, write a maternity leave plan, practice my hypnobirthing techniques . . .It’s surreal. A year ago Ansel was Seafoam, and he was somebody, but he was not the somebody that I know now.
We are prepping for his party (swimming and sandwiches at the rec center) and deciding what to get him (I think we are going for something like this) and reminiscing hard core (I may have gone back and re-read almost every entry from the week prior to his birth while I was pumping this morning) It feels so crazily impossible.
You know what else a birthday means?
That I am finally on the count down to the end of pumping!!!!
I am 97% super excited about not having to pump at work – and, indeed, I have become more lax with my pumping schedule. . . Pushing times back, skipping occasionally. . . And Ansel isn’t taking as much milk from bottles when I’m away, so even when I’m not pumping as much, we are stockpiling. Conversely, Ansel is nursing ALL THE TIME when we are together (although, to be fair, he’s been sick and traveling, so more clingy and in need of milk) and is become even more clear that he LOVES nursing.
I have a tiny fear that my plan to quit pumping while continuing to nurse will not go as planned, and stopping pumping will tank my supply. But I’ve been reassured by so SO many people that I will be able to continue to nurse after I stop pumping that I know the fear is just irrational. But that’s how fear works, eh?
I’ll leave you with this picture of Ansel is a specially made onesie, given to us just about a year ago. I sing with a chamber choir and the women I sing with threw is a baby shower and one of my section mates hand stenciled this onesie (and another that says “Seafoam”) with our choir’s logo. He wore it this weekend to our concerts. #1 choral music fan!