Well, here I am, pumping my last planned, at work pump after 9 months of doing so every two-three hours.
I’m SO excited. But also a little wistful? I dunno, it’s weird.
Already, I’ve been reaping the benefits of less pumping. Namely, I am able to work on a project continuously for more than an hour and a half before having to get everything set up and going. The idea of not having to stop at all sounds SO lovely.
On the other hand, it is an undeniable sign that Ansel is growing up, and that is surprisingly more bittersweet than I anticipated.
He’s hardly drinking any breast milk when I’m away at this point, anyway. He generally takes a single 4 oz bottle before his early nap – and he hasn’t always been finishing this, either. But my weird Mama brain says . . .well, I pump that 4 oz in one pump these days, so maybe I should just keep it up?
I have a small fear, as well, that by quitting pumping I’ll sabotage my supply/nursing outside of work, despite being assured otherwise by, well, EVERYONE. And for sure, Ansel looooooves nursing, and my cutting back on pumping hasn’t seemed to impact anything (so I ought to chill the F out.) If anything, he’s been more interested in nursing in the last week (he’s also been the clingiest grumpasaurus, so I’m betting there’s a tooth or two about to make its presence known.)
We have about 70 oz of frozen breastmilk that we’ll begin using after Monday. The frozen stockpile I so jealously guarded and was so terribly nervous about that has basically never dipped below that mark (it’s been rotated, but never depleted) will go away. I’m saving a bit of it for a breast milk charm because even though I think maybe that’s a hokey thing to do, I am waaay too sentimental and breastfeeding was far too intense a journey not to do it.
In prep for the breast milk in bottles going away, L gave Ansel some whole cow’s milk in a bottle this week. He was not impressed. I’m not concerned, as he nurses enough when I’m around that he doesn’t actually NEED a milk replacement. But I do think it will be interesting to see if he decides to go with it once the good stuff is gone, or if he just decides to forgo the pre-nap bottle. We are going to experiment with some mixing and gradually shifting the proportions of breast milk to cow milk, but I know he’ll ultimately do whatever he wants to do.
I figure I’ll do a solid Ansel @ 1 update next week, after his party, but I also wanted to share this picture that never made it into this blog. La took it a year ago, right after Ansel was born. It’s not the first picture with my son that I wanted, but it is precious nevertheless.