tick tock

It’s been a long week.

On Tuesday, L left for Washington state to have an extensive day long interview at the school in Olympia. Usually, Tuesday is my work from home day, and usually, I have a lot of flexibility with my schedule. But this week was not usual. Instead of my normal flexy non profit working conditions, I was slated to attend a two day training through the government office that provides the big grant I manage. 99% of the other attendees traveled from elsewhere to attend the training, which means the trainer felt fine with having it be a 8am-6pm day at a hotel far, far away cause – why not? everyone was just gonna go up to their rooms or the hotel bar after the training, right?

We recruited my mom to watch A from the time L left for the airport until I got home on Tuesday, and ponied up a lot of $$ for our usual babysitter to watch him for a very long day on Wednesday. I was not looking forward to waking my baby up before he’s used to so that I could take him to a baby sitter at the ass crack of dawn and then solo parent him all day, but . . .you do what you gotta do.

When I got home on Tuesday from a very long, not terribly interesting training, my mom informed me that Ansel had barfed. No biggie, as I assumed it was during lunch and caused by his very sensitive gag reflex. But, nope, he barfed while she was changing his diaper, completely unprovoked. He seemed ok, so I didn’t think much of it and figured it might have just been a fluke.

But Wednesday morning, he puked twice while we were getting ready to leave, so I couldn’t very well send him to the babysitter for a 9 hour day. Lukily, I wasn’t THAT disappointed to miss day two of a boring training, although dealing with puke wasn’t high on my list either. He puked twice more throughout the day but seemed in great spirits otherwise. He also seemed to pick up a snotty nose and cough as the puking diminished, and by yesterday, he was just having the cold symptoms. Clingy, tired, cranky cold symptoms.

So, three days of solo parenting a clingy, sick toddler and I was SO glad for L to get home last night! And, more excited that she was so happy with how the interview went!

It was a day long affair that included a tour, interview with the Dean, interview with the VP and President, teaching demo, meet and greet with the interview committee, and lunch with the music faculty. It sounded exhausting, but she also felt really positive about it – she loved the school, the dean, the president, all of it. The students she gave the demo to told her they “voted” for her because “we actually learned something from you!” Apparently, another candidate was one step ahead the whole time – awkward.

There is one more candidate getting the day-long interview in two half days on Monday and Tuesday and then she should hear a decision by mid next week. The waiting is miserable, of course, especially now that the stakes are so very high. But, ultimately, it’s a pretty brief interim between interview and decision, so we’re going to try and hold out. Easier said than done, and easier for me than her.

I have two and a half days left of being able to walk with two legs. On Monday morning (at 5 fucking 45 a.m.) I will go in and they will micro fracture my bone and tighten up my ligament and maybe clip the sheath on my achilles and then I’ll roll around on a scooter for 6 weeks, maybe while trying to get our house ready to sell (?!) This is definitely feeling more do-able than it has, but I’m still fucking terrified. Luckily, we have a great community of folks who have volunteered to bring food, watch Ansel, and generally help out!

Last Friday, the doc upped my maintenance med and prescribed some ati.van for anxiety attacks. Both have helped significantly. I’m still taking the ati.van about every other day at this point, but am beginning to feel much better in general. I’m glad to know it was an easy adjustment with medications. Fuck anxiety right in it’s eye.



3 thoughts on “tick tock

  1. Woo! I’m glad the interview went well! Now here’s hoping and crossing fingers that she gets it.

    Have you considered getting a temporary handicap decal for those 6 weeks of scooting? Knee walkers make life a lot easier than crutches, but it’s still a pain in the rear – well, hips, actually – and any distance you can shave off you will definitely feel. My wife is finally looking into one – she’s been using a knee walker for 3 weeks already – and I wish we’d considered it sooner.

    I’m glad the meds are working. Anxiety is mean mo-fo.

  2. I’m so glad the interview went well! Fingers crossed for you guys. Although selfishly I want you to stay in Denver because then we could have a play date the next time we visit my SIL! I’m thinking of you as you prepare for surgery. I really meant it when I said I wish I could help cook you a meal or vacuum or something!

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