I’m writing this on my phone,  from the couch,  where I’m watching my zillionth episode of “Bones” while hopped up on vico.din. Which is to say, forgive my typos, I have a lot of excuses.

Surgery went well,  according to my doctor.  They did all the things they expected to,  and also lengthened my Achilles which was up in the air until they saw it in the scope.  Perhaps most telling,  my first thought as I stated to emerge from anesthesia,  “I want to go back to sleep.”


Recovery will be the harder part,  which I anticipated.  I’m in possession of my knee scooter now (complete with hello kitty basket to help me transport my medication! Thanks La!) and can get around ok, but it’s still a huge change from what I’m used to and I’m having to take a lot more time to do the usual things and reconfigure how I do many of them to accommodate the scooter. And I do a lot of hopping around.  Between this and the pain pills,  I’m generally exhausted from just getting myself up and ready.


It’s been tough on my ego to have L do everything for me,  but I’m trying to see it as a spiritual practice.  And L has been AMAZING as my caretaker and A’s primary parent.  I’m so grateful for her on all of this.  All this AND she’s a super babe.  Y’all,  I hit the jackpot.

We knew we were going to be night weaning Ansel because of my lack of mobility,  but after Monday night it became clear we needed to do something more.  That night,  La went in every time A cried and she rocked him back to sleep,  essentially what I’d been doing,  minus the nursing.  But unlike for me,  he would wake up and fuss or cry anytime she put him down.  It took a long,  long time to get him settled and she was exhausted.  We decided then,  at 2am,  to look into the Happy Sleeper and consider trying that to help him sleep.


The great thing about being stuck on the couch is that you can easily commit to reading an entire book in a morning,  and that’s what I did.  L picked up The Happy Sleeper from the library,  I read it and told her about it,  and we decided to try it out.  So many of you had good success,  and it seemed like a nice medium between what we had been doing (which wasn’t working anymore) and full on cry it out,  which wasn’t where we wanted to go.

Tuesday night,  it took him an hour of “sleep waves” to fall asleep,  but once he did,  he stayed asleep until 230am. On a typical night,  he would have woken at least once,  sometimes twice in that time period.  He fussed for an hour before he started full on crying at 330am. Because the book doesn’t recommend cold turkey night weaning with the method,  we decided that night to go in at 330am when he woke and nurse him.  But given what a production it had to be,  with me,  Laurie, and the scooter plus lights and whispering,  I think it did more harm than good.  We decided to not do anymore night nursing,  even though it wasn’t recommended. After the feed,  it took 3 sleep waves before he fell back asleep and stayed asleep until 8am. Unheard of!
Last night,  Laurie had a drag show,  so a friend came over to keep me company and help me with A. Because of this the routine got a little off,  but once I put him down,  he cried for only 2 of the 5 minutes,  then whined a but and went quiet by 7 minutes past.  He didn’t make any noise again until around 1030pm when he fussed a bit,  then needed 2 additional “waves” to settle,  before sleeping all. Night.  Long.  He came to bed at 6am and nursed and snuggled,  but otherwise was asleep in his bed!

Tonight he went down again before the 5 minutes was up and so far (knock wood) hasn’t stirred.  I’m feeling very confident that this was the right choice at the right time.  I know we likely still have some more pieces to work through,  but it also feels clear that this is working well for us,  and I’m excited for all of us to get more sleep!

L got an email from the school on Monday,  letting her know they had moved the other candidate’s interview back a day,  so she likely wouldn’t hear about a decision until early next week.  Today,  one of her references let her know she’d been contacted! We are feeling really hopeful,  but this will be the longest long weekend ever,  I know!



7 thoughts on “

  1. A’s a fan of the scooter! So cute! Good luck on your recovery. I had some restrictions in my pregnancy and my spouse had to do everything for me for a while; it s hard for sure to not be able to just get up and do it all yourself. La is doing a great job, and I feel for you guys with the sleep. Hope the Happy Sleeper approach goes well, it kind of sounds similar to the sleep method we did, and I will say it’s the best thing we ever did for all of us. Of course now that he’s almost 2 brand new sleep issues have cropped up. I’m thinking it never stops lol

  2. I’m glad you’ve got such a great caretaker in L! I’ve got everything crossed for you guys that she gets that job. It sounds very promising!

  3. So glad that the surgery went well! That scooter thing is awesome! (And I can see your kiddo thinks so, too.)

    It can be really hard to accept help, and I think thinking of it as a spiritual practice sounds like a good idea. I’ve had to accept a lot of help from my wife because of health stuff, and it was HARD at first, because we are socialized to think that the opposite of independence is dependence, rather than interdependence. But it offered me a new perspective, and definitely strengthened our relationship.

    Also – reading about your sleep success gives me hope. Wishing you many more nights of good sleep!

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