Now that I know that is was a wordpress hiccup and not a mass scale dislike of my blog content, I feel free to proceed with some more interesting content.
- I feel like I have to say something about the United States right now, about what the actual fuck is happening?! Because how can I not? To not at least nod my proverbial head in the direction of the social milieu seems, well . .. intentional. At the same time, I don’t know what to say. There’s far too much out there already, so so many words. Most of them are better thought out, or more inspirational, or actually useful. And the purpose of this blog is not to write something so popular it becomes viral, or to win any awards for writing or eloquence or persuasion. The purpose of this blog has always been to record my observations from this thing called life, and connect with maybe a few other humans in the world. So, what I can say is this: I am growing increasingly distressed about the world and, moreso, about the country I live in. I am growing more sure that this moment is about to turn, like we are on a precipice of something significant: civil war or a movement that will change things. I know that I am not the only one who cannot continue to live in a country where mass shootings are the norm, where a militiarized police force brazenly and violently practices anti-black racism, where our lawmakers continue to stick their heads in the sand and legislate foolishness. I’m hopeful and terrified.
- After 25 months, I have rejoined the menstruating ranks! I’ve felt some pinching in the ol’ ovary area for the last few weeks, but I really was legit shocked when I went to the bathroom this morning and discovered blood. I night weaned close to 7 weeks ago, so it feels like it makes sense that I would get a period around now. I downloaded my old fertility friend and logged in only to discover it had been quietly keeping up with my anticipated cycles since I’d left it for greener pregnancy pastures and, wouldn’t you know, it predicted my cycle to start tomorrow. Kind of weird. In other news, I managed to forget how much bleeding from the uterus SUCKS.
- I haven’t said much, but Gayby 2.0 is still in the works, although it’s dropped a notch in priority with all the other activity. We did one at home insemination this last month, but no double lines. We’ll be giving it one last DIY try this month before we leave Colorado and BFF, our donor. But, the good news is . . .
- I looked up my insurance benefits and while I cannot completely confirm because I found the info on my own and was not guided by an official HR representative, I am 98% sure that the new insurance covers infertility treatments. Obviously, I don’t have information about the whats and hows and how muches, but I do know it was clearly listed in the ‘covered services’ under the plan I will have. Leaving BFF was one of the drawbacks of heading to the NW, but with some coverage, we have the chance to potentially have him bank some sperm to do IUIs and/or IVF.
- Which also reminds me . . .last May I got my first bill for embryo storage which made sense, as they’d been frozen the prior May and one year of storage was included in the IVF package we chose. But, I haven’t seen this years bill and it’s making me hella fucking nervous. I called and left a message today and am hoping I’ll get word soon. I’m TOTALLY going down the weird rabbit hole of what I will do if I find out they accidentally destroyed them or something and I need to just STOP.
- Ansel and Laurie are going to Indy this weekend for her brother’s birthday. More than the b-day celebration, she’s going because with the move and having to juggle two long distance families, it may be a while before the Hoosiers get to see Ansel. I’m not going because money and also work. I’m both SUPER sad and SUPER excited. All at once. I am going to pump a few times this week, which I haven’t done in almost 4 months, so L can have some breastmilk to take with her (A doesn’t drink cow milk, though we definitely tried) and I’ll pump a couple times while they’re gone so I don’t lose my supple (which I don’t think happens so easily this far in, but I don’t want to chance it) but my biggest fear is that he will come back and have weaned himself. It’s only 48 hours and he LOVES nursing so I’m probably getting worked up for nothing. But, still . . .on the other hand, I intend to watch 2 full seasons of Game of Thrones (L isn’t into it!?!) and sleep A LOT.
- We took Ansel to the Renaissance Festival yesterday and he LOVED IT. This makes me especially happy because RenFest is where my nerd heart is happiest. He ate a turkey leg like a boss, was the most adorable pirate EVER, and held on to the smooth blue rock the fairy gave him like it was the most precious thing he’d ever seen.
- Walking up and down hills on a shitty ankle in a giant walking boot was, however, maybe not the best idea for me. I made it happen but I was hurting last night. Also, can we talk about my hair in that picture? I’m letting my (rather copious amounts of) gray come in and usually I can be ok with it but then I see pictures like that and I’m like ohmyfuckinggodimsoold. Gray hair plus blody not working has left me feeling like 35 is a lot older than I thought it was.
- Once you put in notice at a job, it is REALLY REALLY hard to maintain any sense of motivation. It’s even harder when you have been relieved of the vast majority of your duties AND you have a LOT of sick time banked. I am trying my hardest you all but I am definitely suffering from a severe case of shorttimer’s syndrome.
- 28 days until we move. Holy fucking shit.