Ten Things on a Tuesday Afternoon

 

  1. I am sick for the second time in two weeks, and I am pissed about it. After we got home from vacation, I powered through a day of intensive training prep and then a day long training, and then promptly woke up sick on Saturday morning. I spent the entire weekend in my pajamas coughing but went to work on Monday because I had too much catching up to do. The cough faded to just a tickle by the end of the week and that was that. This past Friday I started getting a drippy nose that devolved into a full blown cold on Saturday. In between, Ansel had a miserable snotty nose and cough. L has, for the time being, seemed to escape the cycle. Toddlers, man. Rhinovirus, man.
  2. I really do not do well with financial stress. I’m just not good at money stuff, and my method of coping is definitely the head-in-the-sand variety. I’m also horribly impatient when it comes to these conversations and processes. The mortgage acquisition process will be the third in my adult life – I am NOT new to the nuances and complexities. Even still, I somehow had this idea in my head that we would submit our application for pre-approval and then they’d send us back a letter that said, “You’re approved for ___________” and then we’d be on our merry way until we had to dive into the actual process. This is, after all, kind of how it goes when you go to the bank for a car loan, right? Or, maybe that’s true just in my flawed memory and isn’t actually the case at all, for cars or mortgages or anything else? In any case, I have been obsessively checking my e-mail since submitting our pre-approval app, and getting . . .well . . .nothing.
  3. Until today at noon, when the broker sent me an e-mail asking me to call her to answer some questions. I (wrongly) assumed these would be few and brief, so I called from my desk. I work in a cubicle that is hardly even a cubicle. The walls are 4 ft tall, tops. There is less than 0 privacy. Aside from sharing some financial information that I probably wouldn’t just volunteer to my colleagues (like my rent payment or how much I want my mortgage payment to be . . .) I also started crying when I was talking about the unknown collections accounts that have botched my scores. Because I am a fucking crier. A cry-baby. I cry when things are overwhelming, or hard, or frustrating, or make me angry. My feelings come out mostly through my face. The good thing? My colleagues were very understanding (I work with nurses who do social work, basically, so . . .like maybe the nicest people on earth?) and checked in with me and I don’t think judged me too much? Even still. I hate crying at work. Ugh.
  4. My credit has definitely taken a hit from the collections accounts. It’s not terrible, but it’s not great. L’s credit IS great. The problem? Because L isn’t working right now but also has a lot of student loans (that we don’t make payments on because she isn’t earning anything right now), it screws up our debt-to-income ratio when we apply together. By ‘screws up’ I mean, we probably wouldn’t get a loan. So, I’m on my own applying for the loan, although we’ll both be on the title. The good thing is that paying off those damn collections accounts should mean my credit will improve in the next few months and it’s very likely we wouldn’t close on a loan until June anyway. For now, we are moving forward with getting a pre-approval based on my less-than –awesome credit and maybe things will look a little better come closing. This is not what I wanted, but it is what it is.
  5. L started taking zo.fran this week, after acupuncture failed to produce lasting results. The Zofran has not eliminated the nausea, but it seems to have improved it enough for her to not be so depressed and checked out. And that was really the issue – that she felt so worn down emotionally by being sick for so long. I really hope that L gets a relatively easy labor and delivery since she’s spent the last 17 weeks feeling miserable. But I also know there’s no rhyme or reason to how these things work. Still, I’m putting in an order.
  6. Longtime readers may recall that no one, including US, knew what Ansel’s name would be before he was born. We had a short list that we planned to choose from (with L getting final say, as per the agreement reached prior to the pregnancy process – where the person without the fetus inside them gets final naming choice) but we really didn’t have any idea what his name would be until about 5 minutes before we went back for the c-section, when we looked at each other and just knew that his name was Ansel Jack. This was surprising to both of us because one of the names on our list was a pretty classically Irish name and Ansel was born on, you know, Patrick’s Day. But it just wasn’t his name. We have been talking about what Tiny’s name will be for the last while, assuming we’d probably go with a very similar process. But it seems that we may have made a bit of a decision. Not enough that I’m going to tell anyone (not even you all, sorry friends) but enough that we said it outloud and even had Ansel say it. The great irony? The name I think we’ve decided on is that Irish name that was not Ansel’s name. But . . .we’ll see.
  7. My skin is not doing well in Seattle and I don’t understand why. I’ve always had more sensitive skin – prone to contact dermatitis or other problems, but mostly things have been in check throughout my life without any ongoing issues. In October, I developed a patch of what I initially though was eczema and which I treated as such (ie: with high moisture content lotion) to no avail. Then a friend said it might be ringworm, so I used an anti-fungal, which also didn’t work. Finally, I made an appointment to talk to a dermatologist about that and a few other things, and lo and behold – it WAS eczema, it just wasn’t going away because it actually takes more than Aveeno to deal with eczema. Now I wash with a ‘bleach bath’ cleanser and use steroid creams on the (now multiple) areas of eczema I get, which seems to clear them briefly before they come back. Even worse, I’ve now started getting some sort of eczema/dermatitis on my GD I am going in for allergy testing next week but am also starting to realize that I may have to do some additional things, like look at auto-immune eating type plans. I generally don’t do “diet” things unless I have to because I have a lot of issues/trauma/mental health shit around changing the way I eat. But, damn. So, I guess if you have ideas about that, particularly if you have strategies that won’t feel triggering, I’m open. (i.e.: immediately eliminate ALL THE FOODS will not be helpful for me!)
  8. Ansel Highlights: He LOVES coloring so hard – both with ‘wonder magic’ markers (the kind that only color on special paper in special expensive coloring books) and with regular old washable crayons on giant blank paper pads and He takes the job very seriously. He’s still probably on the ‘slower’ end of verbal stuff but is saying a lot more short word sentences and is now starting to say words we didn’t even realize he’d heard or knew, so that seems promising? His 2 year appointment is on Friday and I’m hoping to get some clarity about whether we need to get him evaluated or if he’s just on the back end of the curve on this one and will catch up at some point soon.
  9. Toddler sleep: So many of my blogging compatriots are in the throes of baby sleep hell, so I wanted to let you know that it both does get better and also doesn’t (light at the end of the tunnel/misery loves company – pick your poison?) Since we used the “Happy Sleeper” method to ‘sleep train’ Ansel at 14ish months, things have been pretty rad. 97% of the time, he goes down easily (we do his routine, put him in his crib, say goodnight and he closes his eyes) and sleeps through the night. Aside from when he’s sick and the occasional time when he’s thrown off his game (see: Christmas) he sleeps very well. Recently, though, this has started to not happen as consistently. He’s been harder to put to sleep (demanding to be sung to “one mo’? one mo’?” over and over, needing his belly rubbed endlessly) and has had nights when he wakes up and basically cannot be consoled. On Friday, the power went out at about 10:30pm, which turned off his white noise machine. This was bad. The worst threat was that, when turned off abruptly like this and then turned back on, the machine switches from white noise to heart beat which fucking terrifies So, rather than risk that, I snuck into his room after the power outage to grab the machine and unplug it. I wanted it to be a James Bond 007 execution. It was probably more akin to Austin Powers/a baby elephant execution and he woke up. Given circumstances, I decided to nurse him to sleep. This did not work. He continued to wake up hourly and refuse to go back to sleep. We finally put him in bed, figuring it was the white noise machine. But Saturday, when the power was back and his normal static comfort restored, he still did it. We doubled down and revisited the Happy Sleeper principles, which meant at one point sitting on the couch being convinced that the devil himself was inside my sweet boy because OMG I have never heard that sound before in my life. We have recommitted to the process and found that, perhaps not shockingly, if I am not involved, it tends to go better. (this is because I am the pushover mom who also has the magic milk. Whoops) However, this is going to have to change, since in a few short months, L will be busy with Tiny. Basically, you guys, nothing is forever. Not the good luscious sleep, not the shitty awful Rosemary’s baby screaming. None of it. So just do what you can to survive. Its every mom (or dad) for themselves.
  10. You guys, I hate money and really maybe (not) secretly wish we lived in a communist utopia where we all just had our needs taken care of and there wasn’t all this bullshit about your value as a human being connected to your earning potential and your buying power and the shit you have. Ugh.
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13 thoughts on “Ten Things on a Tuesday Afternoon

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      1. Hopefully it’s the last one ! I can’t remember it with our 6 year old but we are getting through a wonder week with our 10 week old daughter at the moment so I feel your pain! Our families are a bit similar as I gave birth to our son and my wife gave birth to our daughter. The experience of being the non bio parent for number two is certainly a rollercoaster of emotions.

  1. Our financials sound similar. Chief had lots of collections when we first got together and I had good credit but high student loans. Then I took on all of our debt because he couldn’t get any. Now he has perfect credit and mine is just ok because my DTI is disgusting. We file our taxes separately to avoid an astronomical student loan payment.

    As far as the white noise thing goes, when we’ve been in that situation I’ve downloaded a white noise track and put it on loop on my phone on airplane mode and just left it in Charlie’s room. Handy to have in a pinch.

  2. Oh man. I do not miss the mortgage loan process. I’m of the head-in-the-sand variety as well and let our mail/email just pile up in the hopes it will magically resolve on its own, I guess? Good luck! I hope you guys find a sweet little home and get to feather it before Tiny arrives!

  3. I HATE money situations and they always make my stomach hurt. We just recently bought a new home and due to my credit score being one point off the interest rate would have went to a percentage we were not comfortable with. So Corrie is on the loan alone and I am on the deed. I get it is just paper but still made me feel a little left out. I hope you get your approval and find the perfect place for the perfect price soon.

  4. Can I just say *praise hands* to #10? Because really, we live in the future, what is this capitalist fuckery.

    Seattle has some weird stuff going on in the air, I think because it’s so humid. My wife’s asthma broke out for the first time since childhood when we lived there. I suspect it’s all the inversions (high pressure systems keeping air from circulating properly by trapping it in the valley between the Cascade and the Olympians). Hope it gets better. ❤

  5. I hear SO many of these 10 things. Especially the commune without mortgage payments and DTI bullshit. One idea for eczema – some people have good luck with probiotics. Get the good refrigerated ones from a health food store ($25ish) and try once or twice a day. It may help, and there is little-to-know risk if it doesn’t.

    Lastly, I love Ansel’s name and I think it fits him perfectly (or the Ansel I know via the interwebs, anyway!).

  6. I don’t have direct experience with this but a person shared information about these products and eczema. She shared the picture of this baby with really bad eczema who got clear in 6 weeks. Here’s the message she sent me.

    Good Morning! I would love to share a photo of a baby that had severe eczema..and found relief with our products. cleared up after about 6 weeks…and hasn’t come back…we’ve had people with amazing skin conditions go away, because they are mostly related to inflammation. and Protandim and True Science reduce Inflammation naturally!! 🙂

    The Nrf2 Protandim helps from the inside to reduce inflammation and our True Science skin care (same 5 herbs as Protandim) helps on the outside. Also with Psoriasis,rosacea , acne, so many skin conditions..Let me know if I can share any other info!

    http://Kamibrockway.lifevantage.com

  7. Nothing stresses me out faster than money. Add in a side of sleep deprivation, and I’m done. I hope it all passes quickly for you. As for the dietary restriction thing, I have my own complicated issues regarding food, but when I decided to eliminate dairy from my diet when Charlotte was having issues, I was surprised at how manageable it was for me. Granted, maybe there was a bit of “anything for my baby” in that, but still. Perhaps if your body gives you some positive, concrete results, it will be easier to make the change. And you know, it helps if you have alternatives to your favorites at the ready. They’re not the same, but after a while, you’ll (mostly) adjust.

  8. Friend, we too are in the home buying process and FACK MA LAYF! It’s absolutely awesome, and getting that pre-approval is the absolute worst! We srota thought it would be similar to buying a car and getting an approval that way (I’ve never owned anything BUT car, so I didn’t really know what I was getting into!). Callie, great credit, not awesome pay. Me, amazing pay, crappy credit. Neither can apply without the other, so it screws everything up. So for what it’s worth, solidarity Sis. Solidarity!

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midwestmammas

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the snearses

some vegetables, some cats

The MD & Me

~ my not so glamorous but oh so blessed life ~

Star In Her Eye

raising a rare girl

Mama et Maman

A blog about two moms trying to conceive

Becoming Mommy and Mama

Two ladies on a baby adventure

YoungIVFerChantelle

My journey to get my Miracle.

single ma in siberia

a single Australian queer's TTC quest/ parenthood journey

babamimi

"Your family needs a reality TV show"

Our Egg, Her Nest?

My journey to Motherhood through gestational surrogacy

Raising Race Conscious Children

a resource for talking about race with young children

Three Hearts Beating

Two lesbian mamas make some queer spawn...

Papa Bear

how two boys made a baby

midwestmammas

lesbian, parenting, ttc, lgbt, baby

and baby makes 3

two moms and a new baby

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