Light at the edge


First, a few updates:


  • A pre-school mom friend recommended a sleep consultant to us and after hearing from others how helpful this has been, we decided to at least call for the free 15 minute consultation. The lady was *amazing* and gave us a few things to look into medically before we attempt anything behaviorally. Accordingly, we made an appointment to get his iron tested next week, since the way we described his restlessness (plus his prematurity + being breastfed) makes her think he is likely low on iron stores. (sidenote: it was a particularly shockingly uphill battle to get the pediatrician to ‘allow’ us to get this blood test prior to his 9 month appointment, which is weird because the appointment is only three weeks away which feels insignificant in terms of well child appointment time, though it is an impossibly long time when you’re not sleeping and this could be the solution. We also made an appointment with a pediatric dentist to have him assessed for a tongue and lip tie. I feel 85% sure he has a lip tie and the consultant, based on pictures of him with his mouth open, feels pretty confident he’s tongue tied as well. Given his poor latch and the struggles L has had nursing, I have long thought this might be the case. The ped agreed with the lip tie but kind of dismissed it needing to be revised because he was gaining weight. (sidenote: we aren’t exactly in love with our pediatrician.) So, there is hope. We bought the magic sleep suit and the first night it improved his sleep quite a bit, but since then it’s been hit or miss . . .
  • Ansel is definitely pee potty trained. He hasn’t had a pee accident in over a week, and he wakes up from naps and night dry about 75% of the time. Poop continues to elude us though he does seem to mostly poop in the pull up so . . .that’s better than scraping it out of underoos. Of course, he closest we’ve come to pooping in the potty ended with him dropping a deuce in the middle of the living room but . . .progress not perfection, right?

The sun has also come out – probably not to stay, yet, but it has been here for a few days and is predicted to stay a few more. When you don’t see the sun for a long time, when you finally do it’s like a drug. I’ve spent as much time as my cubicle dwelling life allows soaking up the vitamin D and doing outdoor things. I took Tuesday off (more partly cloudy than sunny, but whatever) and took Ansel to the zoo with some friends, and yesterday we sat in the yard blowing bubbles. It’s so magical here in the spring when it’s sunny – things so green and fresh and alive. Ansel said yesterday that the ‘sun hurts’ and wanted it to go away so . . .clearly he is a fully NW kid now. We told him we liked the sun to stay and that we’d get him some sunglasses!


Other than not sleeping, Angus is really quite amazing. He’s up to 16 lbs + (4X his birth weight), is sitting up confidently and beginning to do the reach that precedes crawling. His smile is amazing and so freely given. It’s a very genuine and kind smile – Ansel’s has always had a little more mischief behind it – and he loves sitting in L’s lap and beaming at me. He also adores his brother, and Ansel can make Gus belly laugh for long, lovely stretches. He babbles loudly and constantly, and is beginning to punctuate everything with those hard Ds and Bs. He eats with abandon and hasn’t met a food he doesn’t like. Still no teeth though he certainly seems to be showing some signs of their impending arrival. He is a really lovely baby, even in the midst of being more challenging in many ways, and I really can’t wait to see him begin to emerge as an independent being more fully.



Tonight, L and I celebrate 6 years since we had our “GLEE” (gay love extravaganza event)/wedding. It was actually last Saturday, but L got tickets to see Taylor Mac tonight, so we are getting dressed up, going to dinner, and seeing a show! Our friends M + T  are watching the babies for us (M is maybe Ansel’s most favorite person though, this morning when we told him they were coming to hang out with him he said his friend from school, Ruby, is his favorite person so . . .) and we get to go pretend to be human beings, despite our lack of sleep and general exhaustion. 6 years (8.5 since we started dating) both feels like a really long time and also like nothing at all. It’s about 4 times longer than my next longest relationship, but I also feel like I’m still getting to know who L is and how she works and I think I could keep doing that for a long while still. It’s nice to feel that way about my partner, even in the midst of things being pretty fucking hard.



Thanks to audio books from the library, the amazing Overdrive app, and my otherwise shitty commute, I’ve ‘read’ SO MANY BOOKS so far this year! I just finished two that I LOVED and thought I’d recommend The Hate U Give and Sing, Unburied, Sing both of which are definitely not ‘light’ or ‘fun’ per se, but also SO GOOD. Sing, Unburied, Sing was some of the most beautiful prose I’ve read (heard?) in a very, very long time. I just started Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane and am pretty smitten with it so far, too. I’m embarassed to admit that, despite many recommendations over the years, this is my first experience with Neil Gaiman. If you love him, what else should I read? I have been feeling very sad that my reading has been so bad since becoming a parent and this is 100% the best solution for me, even if sometimes I think it’s not ‘the same’ (read: as noble) but, what the fuck ever, you know? It’s better than doing neither!


I hope to be back in a few weeks with reports of a well rested household, so continue to keep us in mind for those T&Ps!


PS- Taking Ansel to the Monster Truck Rally at the Spring Fair on Sunday and I’m so excited!!



  1. Read American Gods, and read Good Omens, both either have adaptations or will have them soon. American Gods is by far my favorite. Neverwhere is fun, but I felt I missed something by never having been to London.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s