All aboard

Well, here we are . . .a bit later than I originally thought, but here none the less.

The red tide rolled up on shore yesterday, and mighty were its waves. I had cramps so horrific that ibuprofen was barely making a dent in the pain, so I decided to take a few percocet left over from when I was last in horrible pain when I had the flu in December. If it wouldn’t make me appear to have a significant drug addiction, I would request to always have percocet on hand for my cramps, because it was oh so wonderfully effective.

I called the IVF nurse line and sent an e-mail to T., my new IVF nurse (who sounds less like a sorority girl, at least on the phone, than V the IUI nurse did) to let them know about dear Aunt Flo. I got a call this afternoon and it looks like the (IVF) train is leaving the station! 

I head in tomorrow for a blood draw – both the ‘usual’ estradiol, HCG beta and progesterone – and a re-check of my thyroid. I’m nervous about the thyroid test. If you forgot (which, why would you remember?) on CD3 of this past cycle, my TSH came back at 7, aka SUPER high. In October 2013, it had been at 3 (still a tiny bit high but reasonable.) My nutritionist asked for some addition thyroid info, and when I gave it to her, she said she thought the high TSH was likely a lab error because all of my other thyroid labs were normal. She recommended asking them to redraw – which I did, and which they didn’t. I did get put on synthr.oid (the brand name thyroid med) instead of levothy.roxine (the generic) and my dose got upped quite a bit. So, I’ll probably never actually know if it was a lab error or if the new medication and dosage worked. I just hope one of them is true so we can pull out of the station.

In any case, I’ll likely start birth control pills tomorrow (which I’m a little terrified of, because the last time I took BCPs I was 19 and I was a mess. But its unclear if I was a mess because I was 19 or because of the BCPs or because of the unique interaction of 19 year oldness with BCPs) and get the rest of my calendar as well. 

The plan is to move forward with the IVF cycle this month, freeze any and all embryos, take a ‘wash out cycle’ (this is, apparently, standard protocol for my clinic when there isn’t a fresh transfer) to do the uterine testing and PGD for embryos, then do a frozen transfer the cycle after that. Depending on how long I’m on birth control pills, how stimulation goes, etc. etc. it could be May or June before we do a transfer. That seems interminably far away, as much as I understand the reasons for the process. I imagine it might feel different as things get rolling . . .

I feel like there is so so much I don’t know, so much to manage (including making sure BFF shows up when he has to) and so much to think about. I’ve been nervous/excited to get started, but now I think I’m beginning to feel the weight of all of this. And it feels big, heavy . . .much more demanding than exciting.

And, mercury just went into retrograde (if you’re ever curious, you can always check until Feb 28th which means OF COURSE stupid shit is happening. Like, for example, La being mysteriously ‘left off’ her employers payroll report, resulting in no paycheck as anticipated on Friday. Luckily, we have some back up but areyoufuckingkiddingme? How do you just forget to pay someone AND then tell them the soonest you can get them the money you owe them is by the NEXT paycheck, two weeks later AND not apologize?! She already gets paid shit as an adjunct professor, and now they pull this shit? I am seriously ragey about it.  I REALLY hope that mercury doesn’t fuck with anything else. I also REALLY hope I didn’t just tempt mercury with that statement . . .

Alright. Here we go.