So, as I mentioned . . .no one shot gayby #2. Womp womp. It’s kind of amazing how easy it has been to get through the wait and the BFN – for both of us – I suspect mostly because Ansel keeps us incredibly busy. And, it’s early still. And, from my perspective, it’s not my uterus, so . . .
Besides the small human, who is rapidly acquiring new words, stable walking skills and adorable mannerisms, there’s a lot going on to keep us from counting down days too much. Although, we definitely both got google happy when L got unusual cramping and then had some spotting two days before her period, which is also unusual. You can’t entirely lose the TTCrazies.
Tomorrow, L has her interview with the school in Olympia. She’s SO prepared. And she’s SO nervous, because she wants this badly. It’s so fucking hard to want something badly and have only so much control over the outcome. That said, whoever you pray to/talk to/get down with insofar as the universe/God/etc. we’d sure appreciate a good word put in on our behalf.
Last week I met with my orthopedic doc to review the MRI and was told in no uncertain terms I need surgical intervention. I can choose an arthroscopic procedure now, or an ankle fusion in a few years (um, the answer is pretty obvious) – my decision was affirmed on Saturday night when I rolled my ankle just . . .walking . . .on sidewalk . . .sober . . .in flats. So I’ll be getting surgery by the end of May, which includes 6 weeks of non weight baring recovery. We’ve decided to use this somewhat unfortunate turn of events to night wean Ansel.
He’s still waking 2-3 times a night, sometimes more, sometimes less. I’m a little shocked at how accustomed to it I’ve gotten and can’t really fathom what life will be like when he sleeps more soundly. I know night weaning may not have the desired effect of helping him sleep longer stretches, but since I really won’t be able to get up and nurse him in the night (at least, not on my own) it seems like a good time to experiment at least?
We haven’t made final decisions about details, but I’m guessing I’ll still nurse him to sleep at bedtime, and we’ll likely choose a time (I’m thinking 4 or 5am at this point) when he can come to bed with us and nurse. All other wake ups, L will handle and there will be no milk. Advice and experience with night weaning would be appreciated!
Speaking of nursing . . .
OMG my baby is boob obsessed. I was starting to get worried . . .about what, I’m not sure? But a quick check in with my local nursing mom’s group reassured me that emergent toddlers are often VERY frequent nursers. And by very frequent, I mean when I’m home he’s on and off my boob basically the entire time we are in one another’s company. Also, I think he’s working on his Cirque moves:
I think Colorado might be ready to let go of the heavy wet snowstorms and move on to just sunny sun sun, although it’s not safe until mid May or later here in the rockies. Still, we are enjoying some spring time fun – trips to the park, building a sandbox for the boy in the yard, and hanging out at the food cart bar!
Things with my colleague seem to be . . .ok? I dunno. After the walk out, there hasn’t been any direct conversation about the whole thing, at least nothing that involves me. It seems almost to have disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Which is fucking weird, and a little unsettling. But . . .better than the alternative of still being stuck in weird tension-conflictlandia? I guess we’ll see?
My final thought is this: I’m not sure how it’s possible, but somehow, Ansel hugging and kissing us intentionally can TOTALLY make up for the fact that this week he also barfed all over both of the dogs and pooped on the carpet and played with it. (In his defense, it was during naked time, so we should have known it was a possibility and supervised a little more closely) This is the paradox of parenthood.